CT Scan & Wedding Anniversaries

We got married in a local hospital...a curious and, some may say, quaint quirk of my county's civil marriage process...so it kind of felt right to be starting our first wedding anniversary celebration attending another hospital, this time for my long awaited CT Scan appointment.

I had pre-warned my husband that we were likely to be sat in the waiting room for a good while. An hour or so would be a good guess-timate, as that was my average waiting time whenever I came to hospital for an appointment.

So we settled ourselves into the hard plastic chairs, ready for the long haul....with a good pile of magazines, books and as a last resort, the iPod.

You can imagine my surprise then, when almost as soon as my backside settled in the chair I was called through for my scan....and less than 20 minutes after walking into hospital through the main doors, we were exiting the main doors...all finished...and no plans for the rest of the day, other than meeting a friend loosely arranged for after lunch, due to the aforementioned, anticipated long waiting time for my appointment.

The scan itself was easy and stress free. I guess I didn't do enough homework on the various types of scanners, as I was expecting to be slid into a claustrophobic tube, and shut in there for eternity...but instead, I was gently scooted back and forth through what was essentially a giant doughnut, whilst a pre-recorded voice, with a nasal Australian accent, instructed me on when to breathe, how to breathe, and how long to hold my breath, as I gracefully moved back and forth through the ring of the doughnut.

And thus finding ourselves free and easy at 9.30am, appointment done & finished in less than 20 minutes, we re-arranged the meeting with our friend and hit the road.... to spend the rest of our anniversary weekend touring the west of Ireland in our camper van.

Wonder how I can incorporate a hospital visit for our 2nd wedding anniversary next year? I can see its going to be a trend with us!

Another day, another Endo

Today I got to see the Senior Registrar, and what a lovely, funny man he is!

We briefly chatted about my consultation with the ENT surgeon, and he made a few phone calls to see if he could do anything to put the 'hurry up' on my CT Scan appointment.

We discussed my weight, and the fact that I really do need to get it off, especially if I do decide to go for the thyroidectomy. He has referred me to a dietitian, to see if they can help...because as far as we can both see I'm doing all the right things, and getting all the wrong results. Of course my thyroid isn't helping, and so in order to find a way through the gloom we're both hoping that a dietitian might have a few more ideas.

He gave me some info leaflets on both the thyroidectomy, and the RAI, and then said that although the decision is still totally mine, he thought it important for me to consider a few things.

Radio-Actve Iodine Treatment (RAI)

• Obviously a lot less invasive, but....it doesn't always work first time and thus might need to be repeated.
• *might* reduce the size of my goitre, but this isn't guaranteed, and if it does reduce it, it won't completely get rid of it, so I may still have the breathing/snoring/swallowing problems.
• I'll have to stay isolated from *everyone*, including my husband, for up to 10 days afterwards. Stay away from young children for up to 2 months.
• We wouldn't be able to start a family for up to 2 years afterwards.

Surgery

• Will remove my goitre.
• Will remove my thyroid gland completely
• Will mean I'll have to take thyroid replacement medication for the rest of my life
• Will allow us to start planning a family as soon as my bloods level out after the op
• Carries risks, as any surgical procedure does, some of which may be short-term, some of which may be permanent, and include damage to the parathyroid glands (rendering the patient hypocalcaemic), voice box, laryngeal chords, damage to nerve endings causing loss of sensation, numbness etc etc.
• Not to mention they are digging about very close to some extremely important arteries there in your throat, namely your carotid.

Decisions, decisions, decisions....but I guess all this is academic until I've had my CT Scan, then we'll all know exactly what is where in there.

Blood Test Results - July 2009

Picked up my blood results this morning....and for the first time in several years my Thyroid Stimulating Hormone (TSH) and Free T4 (FT4) are actually within normal ranges, and my TSH, at 0.65 is not far off the optimum of 1.0. All well and good, but then shy do I still feel so shit? I can't help wondering, and hubby is of the same opinion, that these blood test results are merely a lucky snapshot in time, catching me as I swing through the *normal* ranges, on my way from being hypO to HypER yet again....I guess next month's results will prove or disprove that particular theory.

Still no sign of any testing for Free T3 and T3. My T3 levels haven't been tested since April 09, and my Free T3 hasn't shown up on any results since September 2008....I don't know why the labs don't test these two any more....last time they were tested they were both well out of range, and I'd really like to see where they are now, in relation to my TSH and my FT4

On analysing the rest of my results it seems that my LDL-cholesterol is coming down, and my cholesterol is well within range, despite minimal changes in my diet and my (lack of) exercise routine. My LDL-Cholesterol is still slightly above normal at 3.53 (range 2.6 - 3.38) and my Cholesterol reading is well in range at 5.3 (range 4.0 - 6.7) So I wonder if my increased LDL cholesterol/cholesterol is linked to my hypO status? When I was very hypER, back in February of last year, my cholesterol levels, if anything, were at the low ends of the normal range. And when I went hypO, my cholesterol levels went up for no apparent reason.

Another thing of note is that longer I'm staying on Carbimazole (current does is 5mg/day), the lower my white blood cell count is going. Since starting on CBZ my WBC count has gone from 9.4 to 6.4. And also of note, my neutrophils have dropped from 6.08 to 4.52 Something else to definitely keep an eye on, as one of the most serious side effects that has been recorded with the use of CBZ is agranulocytosis, when your WBC and neutrohpils drop suddenly, you suffer bone marrow depression, and you become very ill very quickly with a raging sore throat and high fever.

This time around, due to a patch of dark skin and dark hair under my chin, my doctor requested that my hormone levels were tested...but the amount of information I get back from these is negligible to say the least, as its hard to decipher the lab ranges on the report sheet. As far as I can tell, my follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) levels are OK at 12.7, my Leutenising Hormone (LH) levels are good, at 2.7, and I think my Estradiol (oestrogen?) levels are low, at 98...but as I said, instead of plain old lab ranges on the report sheet there is instead a paragraph of gobbledegook, so this is pure guesswork on my part. There was no note from my doctor when I collected my copies, so I assume all is OK, or at least 'on plan'. Will try and discuss my hormone levels with my Endo on Tuesday if I remember to ask him, maybe he can explain the gobbledegook to me?

After an idle hour or two, playing on MS Excel, here are some graphical representations of my blood results to date...I find it handy to do these up and print them off for every Endo appointment. That way, if I meet yet another new intern, we don't spend wasted time going over my case history from the beginning each time...

Routine Bloodtests 14th July 2009

I should have done these yesterday, but figured a trip to the hospital to see the ENT surgeon was enough excitement for one day. I'm currently on a monthly blood test schedule, as requested by my Endo, and as I'm due to visit him next week I normally schedule tests one week before my Endo appointment, in order to get the results back in time for him.

Was due to work in the shop today, so headed down to the doctor's surgery bright and early to be first in the queue....but no matter how early I get there (8.50am this morning) the car park is always already full when I get there, ho hum!

For some reason the needle really hurt going in this morning, and I'm truly not a wimp about these things....but my arm has remained sore all day!

I mentioned the strange patch of dark skin and dark hair under my chin (about the size of a 50c piece), and we joked that with everything else going on the last thing I need is to be growing a beard! She took an extra vial of blood and said she'd get my hormones checked this time around too.

She checked my blood pressure, and for the first almost the first time ever she was pleased with the result. When it came in at 150/80 even I cheered! Its always consistently lower when I check it at home, and after checking the accuracy of my personal BP monitor against her own sphygmomanometer in the surgery a while back, we concluded that I can occasionally suffer from white coat syndrome (Google it!) when it comes to checking my BP in the surgery. So, it seems we've finally found a blood pressure medication that seems to suit me. I did ask if there was a cheaper, generic alternative....my current BP medication (Omesar Plus) comes in at €1.24 per daily dose....and she raided her 'Sample Cupboard' and gave me 6 weeks worth, totally free of charge...result! She's done this for me in the past, and it really helps when my cash flow is so miserable.

She tried to ring the hospital x-ray department to see if she could do a 'hurry-up' on my CT Scan appointment, but all the phones were engaged, so she promised she would try again for me later, if only to make sure that a request had indeed been put in by my endo for an appointment on my behalf.

I weighed myself in my pyjamas this morning, and came in 13 lbs lighter than yesterday....amazing what a full set of clothes, and a pair of steel toe-cap boots can weigh!

Hopefully my blood results will be back on Friday, if not Monday at the latest, so I can update my graphs for whichever clueless intern gets to deal with me on Tuesday...watch this space!

ENT Surgeon Appointment - 13 July 2009

Out of bed early, after an exhausting week away. I wake up dizzy, and continue to have short dizzy spells as I got about my morning chores. A little perturbed I check my blood pressure. It comes in at 144/75, systolic is a little high at 144, but diastolic is good at less than 80...neither reading would explain the dizzy spells, so I put it down the last remaining dregs of this head cold I've been suffering from.
A quick bath, then I head up the road. I'm getting used to the alarming amount of hair that comes out when I wash my hair, regardless of the amount of conditioner I use...but its still distressing to see all that lovely hair just falling out all over the place, with very little encouragement. I often get my husband to detangle my hair after a bath/shower as I just find it too upsetting. Its easier to close my eyes and let him deal with it...out of sight, out of mind.

Its over an hours' drive to the hospital and all the way I'm chasing the ETA on my Sat Nav, inevitably I'm running late and getting stressed.
I land at the receptionist's desk at 10.57am, for an 11am appointment...and proceed to be ignored for 5 minutes as the two receptionists go about their business, discussing last night's TV with passing nurses, and basically appearing to do all they can to avoid dealing with me. I'm wondering if I'd mistakenly worn my invisible jumper when one of them deigns to notice me.
The checking-in process completed I take my seat, thankful that I'd remembered to pack a book into my handbag.

Two hours later and I'm regretting not putting two books into my bag, as I turn the last page on the book I started just two hours previously.

I sneak out of the open door for a cigarette, leaving my name with a fellow patient, also waiting patiently for their appointment, also two hours after their allotted appointment time.

Finally, 2½ hours after my appointed time of 11am I am called in to see Dr H. The first thing he asks me is if I've had my CT Scan yet. Sadly the reply is negative, and I can see from his expression that this meeting is kind of pointless without the CT results. We joke good naturedly about hospital efficiency. I point out that I am returning to the hospital in one week's time to see my Endocrinologist anyway, and wouldn't it be great if the CT Scan was scheduled for the same day, to save me an extra trip into the hospital...and we both laugh at this highly unlikely scenario. That would make far too much sense to whomever is responsible for scheduling such things.
Undeterred by my lack of CT Scan results, he proceeds to poke and prod at my neck anyway. He has a good poke in my ears (heaven only knows why?), pokes his torch up my nose....(well I suppose as an ENT Surgeon he wants to get his money's worth from any patient), before sticking his hands around my throat again for a further squeeze. He squirts yucky tasting stuff up my nose and assures me that my nose and throat will shortly go numb. I can taste ammonia, he tells me its benzocaine based....either way it stinks, and tastes horrible as it slides down the back of my throat....but it isn't half as unpleasant as the huge long scope he then pokes up my nose, and pushes down my throat. Quite a strange sensation....I don't think my throat is as numb as it should be, I can feel every centimetre of it and its at least 30cm long. Feels odd to talk to him, and answer questions, while this huge long piece of cable is sitting at the back of my throat, by way of my left nostril.
After it is removed my nose runs uncontrollably, and the attending nurse kindly passes me a packet of tissues. She advises me not to drink or eat anything for at least an hour, until the anaesthetic properties have worn off.
Dr H ponders what he has seen and announces that he thinks the Goitre on the right side has spread under my collarbone, and that this will make extraction more complicated. We will know more and have a clearer picture once this damned CT Scan has been done, but for now all we can do is speculate. Mysteriously he tells me that if it is down under my collarbone he won't be able to perform the surgery here....I assume 'here' means this hospital, but I'm not too sure what this statement means. he goes on to discuss other things and I forget to ask him to clarify this statement. I must remember to ask my Endo next week if he has any idea what this means.

Then the discussion turned to weightier matters...if you'll pardon the pun. He expressed concerns, on behalf of his anaesthetist, regarding my weight, and he stated that he'd like me to lose a minimum of 6 stone (preferably 8 stone) before he'd consider passing me over to his anaesthetist...I guess this means he won't be scheduling me for surgery either, until I lose this weight....regardless of my CT Scan results, and regardless of my thyroid problems. Oh, and he'd like me to ditch the smoking too...well that's a given, and is high up on my to-do list as it is.
I joked that I'd set about starving myself between now and my next appointment and he did have the good grace to apologise in advance for his crassness, as he quipped that "no fat people came out of Belsen".

I go back to him in 2 months time....14th of September to be precise, and I will try my hardest to have lost at least a stone or two by then. Oh, and I'll be pi**ed off if I haven't managed to give up smoking by then too. If I haven't had my CT Scan by then, well I guess it'll be yet another wasted appointment....got to love the Irish Health System....

All Change on the meds front

Popped into my doctor's surgery today to get some forms filled in, and she decided to check my blood pressure whilst I was there.

I've been on Centyl-K since February, in an attempt to lower my blood pressure, but it was still consistently high.

She decided to stop the Centyl-K, and try me on another hypertension medication, Omesar Plus.
In her words, the Centyl-K isn't working, I may as well be popping Smarties!

Endo takes my Goitre seriously!

When I was getting my bloods done the other day, in preparation for today's Endo appointment, I mentioned to my doctor that nobody at the hospital had been too concerned, or even interested in my goitre, no matter how often I mentioned it. I also showed her how much the right hand side had swollen up in recent weeks. She laughed and said "one look at that, and they'll be *VERY* interested this time, trust me!"

She wasn't wrong.

Once again, I was given a consultation with another fresh-faced young intern, but I didn't stay with him for long. One look at my goitre sent him scurrying for the Consultant Endo, and the rest of my appointment was with the boss himself.

He has decided to refer me for a CT Scan to check out the goitre, and also to an ENT consultant...just to make sure they have that covered. He mentioned the possibility thyroid surgery again, but also reminded me of the RAI option - essentially the decision is mine, I just need to do my homework and make the decision, if it comes down to it, but in the meantime it was worth setting the wheels in motion in case I decide to opt for surgery. I guess the goitre is what is worrying them, more than than my malfunctioning thyroid. He reassured me that it all still could come under control with the meds, and all this is purely speculative, but bearing in mind waiting lists for referrals etc we may as well go ahead and make a start.

My bloods are still out, my TSH is too high, and my Free T4 is too low - indicating that I'm very firmly in the Hypo camp right now. So we've dropped my Carbimazole from 30mg/day to 15mg/day.

Hot or Cold?

I've always been *hot*...ha ha, no, not in that way!

But I usually love winter, and loathe summer. I overheat in summer, suffer from heat stroke and heat rashes regularly, and any prolonged hot temperatures always made me feel very ill. (well, as hot as it can ever get in Ireland and the UK)
Alternatively, in the winter, I could swan about in flip-flops all winter long, walking the dogs through frosty fields, simply washing mud off my bare feet before I came indoors, and wearing t-shirts and thin cotton trousers all winter long, only resorting to a jacket of any sort when it was raining.

Now I'm tipped over into hypO I've suddenly swapped thermostat, and I find I am permanently cold. NO matter what I do I can't get my feet warm. I go to bed with thick woollen sicks on, worn under my bed socks. Hot water bottle. Electric blanket on. Oil-filled radiator plugged in and t-stat turned up. Poor hubby is trying to sleep, dripping with sweat, while I lie there trying to get warm enough to drop off to sleep. I sit in the study (working) or lounge (lounging, ha ha!), in a fully insulated house, with the central heating on, and despite being fully dressed, several pairs of socks etc I've generally got a hoodie and or a fleece jacket on, often a woolly hat and scarf too, usually at the very least I've got a blanket wrapped around me and I just feel SO cold. Hubby keeps turning the thermostat up for me, the house is intolerably hot for him, yet I just feel constantly chilled. "

RAI or Thyroidectomy?

Hoping this remains a hypothetical question for me, but I'm curious to hear other folks opinions on it...

Its becoming more and more clear that my thyroid gland is becoming more and more unstable. The latest set of bloods have me very hypO, even more than I was a couple of months back.
TSH is 18.3 range 0.15-3.2
my FT4 is apparently "below absolute low"...which is interesting, surely the lab should be able to detect it somehow, no matter how low it has dipped.

I've had noticeable goitre on the left side of my neck for years, with nothing to show on the right hand side. But, suddenly, in the space of 7-10 days the right hand side has now swollen to larger than the left, and is incredibly uncomfortable...breathing, swallowing, neck movement, all compromised.
My neck looks like a bullfrog, and my voice is so hoarse I sound like bullfrog too!

Due to see my endo on the 19th of May, but my GP has advised me to think about the fact that my Endo will now very likely suggest either surgery to remove it completely or RAI treatment.
For the record, I'm 35, married, no kids, but would like to think about having children in the reasonably near future, if I can only get this thyroid to behave itself.

So, throwing this 'hopefully' hypothetical question out to blog-land...if you were given the choice of surgery to totally remove the thyroid gland, or RAI treatment which one would you go for, and don't forget to say why?

Thanks in advance

Let There Be Rock!

What can I say!?

A brilliant night from start to finish! We had great seats and the crowd around us were totally up for it. The support band, The Answer, did an excellent set, and were received enthusiastically by the audience, but the atmosphere continued to build as everyone anticipated the main act, and I can't believe that anyone could possibly have been disappointed by what was delivered. The shamefully misquote a famous Dublin rocker, the lat,e great Phil Lynott...the boys were well and truly back in town! And not before time, I might add.

Time and tide has done absolutely nothing to diminish the ability of these 5 guys to deliver their very best! My ears are still ringing the morning after, and my voice is hoarse from cheering and singing, and that's just the way it should be!

Our eternal thanks to those connections who sorted out the ultimate birthday present for my husband - guest list tickets to AC/DC !!!

(check out the all-important "COMPLIMENTARY" and €0.00 on the tickets!)

Roll on Punchestown in June, when hopefully we get to do it all over again!

With regards to an OB:Thyroid observation....really, really, really found it a struggle to walk from the hotel to the venue (less than half a mile) and felt more than a little humiliated that I had to keep stopping every hundred yards or so to let the pain in my back and legs subside. I know this a symptom of being hypo, but man that was hell...and, you just feel *everyone* is looking at the fat cow who can't walk because she's so fat...if only they knew! Times like this I wish I could wear a sign around my neck, explaining its my thyroid, not my weight, that is the problem...but I didn't let it spoil what was one of the most incredible gigs I've ever been to! :-)

For Those About To Rock!

Wow! Wow! Wow!

I've just received the very best email of my life!  I'm going to print it of and frame it!

After totally missing out on tickets to AC/DC when their current tours hits Irish soil next Saturday, I had all but given up hope...and I flat refused to pay touts prices.

So I had all but given up hope, but I gave a few 'connected' strings a half-hearted tweak in desperation...and they have come up trumps.

Not only did the email confirm that hubby and I have tickets for Saturday's awesome night of noise.....we're on the bloody Guest List !!!

How about that!  Rock'n'F'n'Roll Baby!

Back Once Again

Seems I disappeared for longer than intended.

We had a weekend away camping, and that was disrupted by an emaciated stray dog who entered my life the day before we were due to leave.

So I've been very busy looking after her (still ongoing - and looking like a long term project) and learning all about greyhounds and greyhound mixes and their specific care needs. (She's approximately half the weight she should be)

She's gained 1.36 kilos in weight already though so I'm pleased with her progress...if only she and I could participate in a little weight swap ha ha! I'd gladly donate all of my spare weight to undernourished dogs!

Still off the smokes, and still giving the scales slightly less to hold up each week, so there are two positives already.

My new meds seem to be OK. They cut my Carbimazole back down to 30mg, and I finally relented on my BP Meds Argument, and consented to starting on Centyl-K, a diuretic. I bought a cheapo blood pressure monitor from my local pharmacy, and I've certainly noticed my BP coming down a little, so hopefully my doctor will concur. Maybe I shouldn't have fought against BP meds for all this time after all...?

The walking has slipped though, and I'm cross with myself for letting that go...need a kick up the bum and the discipline to get out there every morning again!

Ouch!

Woke up yesterday with a sore foot, major hot-spot on the side of my heel (from my work boots I believe).

Went for my daily walk anyway, despite the pain...but had to walk slower, and didn't get so far. Walking whilst favouring my left foot was definitely having an impact on my right leg and lower back, so I backed off and just concentrated on working up a sweat without doing too much more damage...but pleased that I made myself do it, although perhaps in hindsight it was a little foolhardy.

However, this morning I can't put any weight on the foot at all. So I'm absolutely not going to force myself into my walking boots.

But I don't want a rest day today either. I have a busy weekend ahead, and had hoped to bank a rest day for the weekend when I'd struggle to find time to get away from my social commitments.
This weeks self-imposed exercise goal was to do a minimum of 20 mins per day, my preference is walking.

For heaven's sake - I'm just *WALKING* - why is this SO difficult?

Second Endo Appointment

Well I have to say that I wasn't waiting around very long this time. If anything, they rushed me through as if scared to leave me waiting at all...perhaps throwing a tantrum is the answer to getting seen on time?

They sent me for another ECG, because although I was assured the last one was in the 'OK' range...it must also have been in the 'check again' range.
This time I knew exactly where to go, I was definitely less stressed, and took time out to pause and do some deep breathing exercises before entering the hallowed ECG room. This time my results were deemed 'excellent'! :-)

Upon returning to the outpatients waiting area I was ushered in to a consultation room almost straight away.

I was with a really friendly young intern, and very impressed with her. The appointment went OK - we discussed how I was feeling, if I feeling any different to last time I was in, and why that might be. She suggested a slight dose change because, despite my TSH being within range,, albeit at the high end, my T3 and my Free T4 have gone from being too high to too low. So we dropped my Carbimazole from 40mg/day to 30mg/day.

The consultation all went well, until she checked my blood pressure...she went white with shock, and spent ages peering into my eyes, presumably checking them for any damage. She reckoned that my blood pressure dangerously high, and didn't believe me when I kept insisting I felt totally fine. She claimed that she was almost tempted to admit me there and then, and expressed concern at allowing me to drive home. I continued to insist that I was fine, and that it was most probably White Coat Disease, but she wasn't having it. She conferred with the senior consultant, and they were querying my blood pressure medication...to which I sheepishly had to confess that I hadn't been taking it. Felt pretty stupid, having to confess that if I'm honest. I explained that our money was extremely tight at the moment, and the extra prescription costs were more than I could cope with right now. They gave me some freebie samples of the Centyl-K to go home with, and made me promise to fill that prescription before they ran out. And do you know, something about the abject fear in that young interns face as she checked and re-checked my blood pressure, made me determined to find the money somehow....she was really truly scared by what she was seeing, and was acting as if expecting me to drop down dead any second. That made me feel very bad for ignoring their advice.

Pillow Talk

I don't have any trouble getting to sleep, its always been a running joke in my family that I could fall asleep on a clothes line.

But for the last 3 weeks or so I have trouble staying asleep. I wake up constantly, all night long....1am, 2am, 3am, 4am
I drop back to sleep almost immediately...but still seem to wake up on an almost hourly basis.
The longest stretch of uninterrupted sleep I've had in the last 3 weeks or so was *once* when I managed to go from around 2am to 8am...bliss!

This may or may not be thyroid (or thyroid meds) related in my case...but if anyone has come across this before and has any ideas how to restore my sleep pattern I'd be extremely grateful

Ups & Downs

I'm just frustrated.

Through the month of January I lost 6 lbs in weight, without even trying. No honestly! The only reason I know I made the loss was due to some swanky new digital scales that my mum bought me...so, whilst making absolutely no effort to lose any weight I religiously jumped on them once a week, just to see what was going on. The weight was dropping off, with literally no effort at all on my part....wonderful! Losing weight, whilst finishing off the Christmas indulgences.....as well as having a January birthday, involving far too much of the wrong types of food and alcohol, whilst still losing weight....hurrah! (got to love the vagaries of Grave's Disease!)

So then I decide to make an effort. In the firm belief that I'm doing everything right I spend a week dutifully going for daily walks, working up a sweat, getting out of breath, drinking water until its coming out of my ears (just running to the loo every half an hour was surely an exercise in itself!), and really, really watching what I was eating.

Hubby had a 'cholesterol' warning at his last health check, so we've cut out as much fat as physically possible, dropped all salt, and we're both really making an effort to do things right. Eating oily fish, bulking up on vegetables, white meat, omega 3, 6, & 9's, cutting out the cheese, going for low fat options.

For the first time in the 10 years I've known him he's willingly drinking his coffee with low fat milk, and reaching for my Flora No Salt spread for his morning toast, when he's not doing himself up some porridge in the mornings, that is.

He doesn't need to lose weight...he's a total string bean, but I'm delighted to see him taking more of an interest in what he actually eats....the fact that he could eat tons of crap and not put on weight has always made me jealous, but watching him lay into the butter and grease has always worried me too.

So, we're making a concerted effort to eat properly, reading labels, avoiding processed food as much as possible etc etc etc.

After the first week of "Brand New Me"....I was a little disappointed to find the scales recorded a 3lb rise....wtf?

Unperturbed, I made some 'TOTM excuses'....ignored it and carried on with my new regime. 'TOTM' was late anyway, so can't honestly use that excuse for the first week of weight gain.

Then yesterday, after another week of walking (longer and further distances this week), getting sweaty (even sweatier than last week!) and out of breath (more huffy puffy than last week too!), with a 2 litre water bottle permanently fixed in my hand throughout the day, and not being put down until its empty in the evening, eating properly, breakfast, fruit, veggies, white meats, making my own wholemeal/wholegrain bread, wholegrain pasta, blah blah blah....and the scales show ANOTHER 3LB GAIN!!!! Now I'm seriously pi**ed off!

In actively trying to sort myself out and lose weight I've actually gained *all* the weight I lost, without trying, and I'm back weighing what I weighed on the 1st January this year!

So what the hell am I doing wrong?

I refuse to blame this on my thyroid, I can't keep going "oh its my thyroid" when my body doesn't work the way it should. I'm starting to believe I use that as an excuse all to often. Perhaps I'm in thyroid-denial?! Ha ha! I just don't believe that the simple fact of my blood levels going into HypOt are sufficient for me to add 6 lbs in 2 weeks, whilst actively trying to LOSE weight.....???

Yesterday's walk was really hard work, for the first time in two weeks I just couldn't get into it...my feet hurt from start to finish, my lower legs got too tight too early, my legs felt heavy, and I just found the whole thing a struggle. I forced myself to keep going, but slowed myself down and took it a lot easier....determined to keep going at all costs, but recognising that pushing myself too hard would be potentially more damaging, both physically and psychologically. And then around 10pm last night I suddenly felt really drained, and it was all I could do to sit in the armchair and hold my head upright....I said to hubby it just felt as if suddenly my engine had run out of fuel! There was still loads to do before I headed to bed, but I just couldn't get up and do them.

However, its not all doom and gloom! This morning's walk felt brilliant, everything went right, and it felt good to push myself a little bit harder than before. Maybe yesterday's walk was just a blip?

Oh, and one of my foster dogs *might* be off to a new home this weekend. Its very bitter-sweet, and the hardest part of being a foster...letting them go to their new homes, especially this one, he's the nicest lad and he's been here almost 2 years with absolutely no one showing any interest in offering him a new home....so we're thrilled to have finally found him his ultimate home (rural, and with three young boys to keep him amused), but he's been here so long he feels like part of the furniture, and we've watched him grow up and mature into a delightful well-mannered dog, from the total hooligan we took in all that time ago. Will be very sad to say goodbye, but he's going somewhere local, so once he's settled in to his new home we're really looking forward to being able to visit him and see him around locally.

Frosty the Snowman

Quiet enough weekend.

Very cold over-night temperatures have kept me up at night, worrying about the two outside dogs...so I went on the scrounge around some local businesses on Saturday morning, begging for some freebies and offcuts, and came home with loads of polystyrene boards, thin ply, nails, and some rubber cow mat. And, after my now regular walk across the fields, we spend the morning insulating their kennel. Polystyrene slabs under the floor. Fixed the broken bit of the floor. Then polystyrene insulation up the inside wall and roof area, secured and made dog-safe with the thin ply. Then cow mats cut to size and laid on top of the wooden floor, and the final touch, put the kennel securely up on a pallet to get it off the ground.

I slept much better the following night, knowing that despite the sub-zero temperatures, the two outside boys would be much, much warmer now.

We settled in for an afternoon in front of the television for the first two matches of the 2009 Six Nations rugby....England vs Italy in Twickenham, followed by Ireland vs France in Croke Park, Dublin.

Delighted to see England win, although I don't think they played convincingly. I wish the media would lay off giving Bergamasco such a hard time though. I actually would have preferred France to win the 2nd game....yes I know I live in Ireland, but I'm not Irish, and the sycophantic Irish media irritate me whenever the Irish team do anything even half right. If Ireland ever did win the RU World Cup I think I'd have to leave the country.

Sunday's game between Wales and Scotland, up in Murrayfield, was another good opener for both teams, although a seemingly excessive amount of players being knocked unconscious, bordering on carnage! For a while it seemed there was a player out cold on the pitch every couple of minutes. Gutted for that poor lad Cross, his very first international cap, and he went off, out-cold on a stretcher. With the ref bleating on about giving him a yellow card (sin bin) but not wanting to award him to it on the stretcher, and the ref telling the medical crew that they may as well remove him from the pitch as he was being sent off anyway...to be honest I think that was a harsh penalty anyway, he'd committed to the try, and I don't believe he had time to pull out of it, but sure, what do I know. Hope he's doing OK anyway. Either way, I don't think the final score was a fair reflection on Scotland's performance over all, they had the seemingly *almighty* Wales running scared a few times, and deserved a better score out of it IMHO.

Anyway, still off the smokes (woo hoo!)

And still getting in the daily walks. Although had a day off on Sunday, loads of snow, very slippery, and nursing a few hot spots on my right foot, and calves feeling a little tight...so I figured a rest day was in order.

Felt the difference today though. Feet less sore, but the walk was harder work initially, assuming that's a by-product of having a day off, will know more as I do more - but I went further today, worked harder, and felt better about it all once I'd finished.

Almost felt restless yesterday that I wasn't strapping my boots on and heading out...but really think my feet and calves benefited from a rest day.

Weight has only dropped a lb though, which I find odd, expected more, but that's life I guess. And a loss is a loss!

Cycling, without a bike!

Monthly cycles again, this time an observation....

Been splitting my carbimazole for the last week, half dose in the morning, half dose in the evening - and not noticed any major change in the way I feel....BUT, the hugely maddening (driving me insane) 14-day cycle appears to be on the blink, however, SSSHHHHHHH! Don't tell it, I don't want to wake it up!

So, the way my cycle has been behaving in the last couple of months I should have started in the middle of last week, and currently be in the middle of hell on earth, and be house-bound to all intents and purposes....but I'm not, its late, its nearly a week late (and NO, *that* is not even worth considering, my libido has been through the floor for weeks, it'd be an immaculate conception ha ha!)....
So...is it possible that something as simple as splitting my dose to 12 hour intervals was enough to scare my cycle back into *normality* ??? (yay if its true!)

Does anyone like this theory? Experienced something similar?

Or is it possible that my cycle likes to keep me guessing and is simply changing its own rhythm yet again, ho hum :-(

Walking Log

So I finally went out for an official walk this morning. Timed. checked heart rate, everything. I'm getting very wrapped up (read: confused?) in resting heart rate, maximum heart rate, training 'zone' or training 'rate.

I'm aiming to keep my understanding of all this simple, follwoing the KISS theory, but at the same time I'm trying to get a basic handle on all these things so that if I am making the effort to get out there walking that I am working/walking hard enough to make a difference, to achieve my goals if you like.

For the record, and for me to be able to check back in the future. Anyone who *does* know about these things, please feel free to comment and/or point out any obvious errors I'm making.

Resting Heart Rate - usually between 78-82 bpm (clearly unfit)

Maximum Heart Rate (=220-35) - 185 bpm

Training Rate 60-80% of MHR - between 110 and 148 bpm

Do I have that right?

So, today, after 10 mins** of moderate pace walking; on gentle, undulating farm tracks; getting out of breath but not uncomfortably so; leg muscles feeling tight but not painful; still able to call out ot the dog that accompanied me.

Heart rate after 10 mins was 112 bpm.

So I've just about edged into the heart rate training zone, but should I try to work myself harder for better benefit....or keep it at the lower end of the training 'zone' for now while I ease back into a regular exercise schedule? Decisions, decisions, and I wish I understood enough about all this to make a more informed decision.

Alright, so 10 minutes isn't a huge feat...but heck, I'm a big girl, and baby steps are a good way to start I reckon. I plan to do 10 mins for a week, then up it in 5 min increments, a week at a time.

Oh...and I'm still smoke-free :o)

Walking In A Winter Wonderland

Got up extra early this morning, to get out there in the snow, with the dogs...and I wasn't disappointed, man I love snow!

Its melted a little since this morning....but we're still getting heavy snow showers on and off, so lots of the melted bits are slowly getting replaced with new, fresh snow.

Still off the cigarettes (woo hoo!) and looking forward to this afternoon's walk...in my very own winter wonderland!

Let It Snow

Woke up this morning to a sprinkling of powdery snow. All the cars and outbuildings looks festive and Christmassy, albeit over a month late. We've had light snow showers and flurries on and off all morning, and its meant to continue doing the for the rest of the day. Its forecast that we should get a proper dump of snow overnight tonight, and I can't wait! OK, so a 'proper dump' is meant in relation to Ireland....where a proper dump could be considered a few inches, that may or may not last until lunchtime before melting away completely....conditions that wouldn't even cause comment in snowier parts of the world...but heck, we get so little of the white stuff over here, that any hint of it and I regress to a 5yr old child again! I plan to get up early tomorrow morning, assess the snow conditions, and if all is well head out for a good old romp in the snow with all the dogs! And if the white stuff chooses to stay around for a day or two then I'll be beside myself with joy!

Planning to head out for a good, bracing walk this afternoon with a couple of dogs, and if we get to walk through a snow shower or two, then it'll be all the better and I'll be all the happier

Easy Like Sunday Morning

So far so good on the 'smoke-free' front...its been a whole, whopping 6 hours Not quite long enough to officially call myself a non-smoker ha ha!

But I was almost tempted to throw in the non-smoking towel this morning, after an interesting meeting with an unspeakably rude and arrogant microchipping client...a real 'Lady Muck' character, who really made me boil with her superior attitude.
In the end I just drove home, and didn't 'chip the dogs. I was fuming. I do this as a volunteer. I gave up my own time, on a Sunday morning, to accomodate her oh-so-busy-and-oh-so-important life. I'm a volunteer. No-one reimburses me for my petrol (gas). No-one reimburses me for my phone calls. No-one reimburses me for my time. All these things I give freely and willingly. I don't want to be reimbursed for these things. These things, and my expertise with dogs, are my donations towards the SPCA if you like. However, I do expect to be treated in a civil manner. I don't expect to be treated like a common scivvy, nor spoken to like I'm some horrible, inconvenient, piece of dirt on the bottom of her shoe. Grrrrr!
However, rather than having a huge blow-up row with her, I just turned around and drove home, seething and muttering to myself as I drove down her drive......but I didn't rush to the nearest shop and buy a packet of cigarettes, instead I drove to the nearest shop and bought some lovely looking whole-meal baps (bread rolls) for lunch instead.

Oh, I also bought a big fat 2 litre bottle of water....so there's no excuse for not drinking today's water allowance, and then having an emtpy 2 L bottle to fill each and every morning from now on. I'd like to think I turned my negative feelings, after I drove away from the rude person in anger, into a positive outing this morning after all.

Been getting the occasional headache the last couple of days, but I think that's directly connected to that fact that I've been caffeine-free since Thursday evening. I think I read somewhere that headaches were a common withdrawal symptom, so I'm just riding them through, and enjoyng my caffeine-free tea!

Plan for the rest of today.....hubby and I have planned to do as little as possible, and just chill out for the aftternoon and evening. I might even slip back into my pyjamas, then curl up on the sofa with a duvet and a good book...but I'll feel less guilty, because I have at least been out and about, and active this morning.

What A Difference A Day Makes

...24 little hours....

So much to say, so little time.

First off, missed weighing on Thursday morning because I was rushing to get to a doctors' appointment...but I was delighted to hop on the scales Friday morning, straight out of bed, and note a 2lbs loss...yay me! That's 5 lbs since January 1st, without really trying...so this week I will drink more water, start a sensible walking plan, pay more attention to what I'm eating, and make some real effort. Roll on Thurs 5th February...

The doctor's appointment?...well, to get my latest blood test results back. Some good news, some bad news....the bad offsets the good, and makes me a little sad to be honest. The good news is that my liver function tests, which were previously way out (leading me to worry I'd over done things in my student days) were back in normal ranges (yay!), proving my doctor right when she said at the time it was mostly due to my thyroid levels, but that we'd look into them more closely in the future if they didn't settle after I'd started on the thyroid meds.
The bad news...I had some hormone tests done this time around because I've been having really sucky monthly cycles for the last while...mainly a fortnightly cycle instead of monthly, with horrendous 'flooding' to the point where I literally dare not leave the house, for up to 7 days at a time, unless I have packed a whole 'going out' bag, complete with several changes of clothing and mammoth supplies of sanitary supplies (TMI I know, sorry), and had knowledge of access to a bathroom at all times, at a moment's notice. Well apparently my oestradiol levels (I'm sure I learnt this is 'oestrogen' at school?) are low, which apparently explains the awful time I'm having right now...but we don't know why, so again, for now, we're lumping that into the 'thyroid' package. With no current treatment plan, unless it doesn't improve in the future...so, I'm still stuck on this ridiculous 14 day cycle with no hope forthcoming, and a running joke in this house is whether to volunteer for an elective hysterectomy....not something to joke about I know! But, this 14 day cycle is really driving me insane.

And the remaining bad news from my blood tests is that, the current dose of thyroid medication is working really well...so well in fact, that I've swung from firmly hypERthyroid, to firmly hypOthyroid....which explains a lot of (hopefully *all*) the nasty new symptoms I've been experiencing, some old symptoms are back with a vengeance, and some nasty new ones have reared their ugly heads. My doctor made me promise *not* to alter my medication levels until I've been to my next endocrinologist appointment (two weeks and counting!), but I'm finding it really depressing to take my medication every morning now, knowing that instead of making me feel better, they are actively making me worse....

Thank heavens for a really understanding and totally supportive hubby, who has seen me at my absolute worst (and my absolute best, I hasten to add) and knows that the short-temper and mood swings are currently beyond my control. And bless him for not making jokes about my dry, scaly 'lizard' hands right now...yes, another symptom, because I'm really suffering from sense-of-humour failure these days, and often taking previously-funny little comments way too personally. So thank you Blogger, for providing a supportive portal, where I can get all this crap off my mind, writing to people who understand and may or may not be going through the same thing, and for allowing me to give my husband a break from venting my problems to him.

Yesterday afternoon I went out to microchip 5 dogs (I'm a qualified microchipper, and volunteer for my local SPCA) and came home to find the river had burst its banks and we were flooded (again). Ho hum...nursed my car, through the flood, to some higher ground near the paddock, and went for a wade to assess the damage. It didn't come in the house, thank DoG, but it was a close run thing. And my 2 SPCA foster dogs were in their outdoor run, balancing on the last piece of dry land they could find. So, a quick trip indoors to re-arrange things with my own 5 dogs, and I brought those 2 outdoor boys indoors. A few grumbles, and the occasional bicker over beds, but the rest of the evening passed relatively un-eventfully...this house is *WAY* too small for 7 dogs indoors, especially when one of the dogs (my own) is a grumpy, possessive terrier, with small-dog Napoleon syndrome and an attitude problem. He wanted to spend the evening hanging off the throats of the in-comers...instead, he spent the evening confined to his crate, not ideal, but safer for everybody concerned, and meant we could all relax a little more in front of the TV for the evening, as the other 6 get on really well together. The 2 'outside' boys slept in the bathroom overnight, and I was delighted to find it clean as a whistle this morning, so I can hopefully tick off the 'house-trained' box on their adoption forms at least. The floods started to recede around 5am this morning, and I could flush the toilet for the first time in over 18 hours around mid-morning today, phew! The 'outside' boys are now back outside, with their wet bedding replaced with clean, dry bedding....and their kennel and dog-run now comprising of more dry land than water features so hopefully everybody is happy. My washing machine is currently running the gauntlet of getting some more dog bedding clean and ready. The rain hasn't stopped all day, and I'm expecting the river to rise again at some point (flash floods off the nearby mountain), so I don't want to be caught short with last night's wet dog bedding.

During the week, hubby and I made a pact to quit smoking. We set the quit-time as Saturday night (tonight!). He's been out and bought himself a pack of nicotine replacement patches, and I'm straightening my own head to go it alone with will-power. So tonight we smoke our last smokes. Tomorrow we plan to wake up and go smoke-free. In the past when one has decided to quit, the other hasn't.....so we've been yo-yo quitting for a long time now, and that doesn't work. We've both proved to ourselves that we can go without, but the temptation when the other partner is lighting up is just too much after a day or two...so tonight, we finish our packs, destroy and dispose of any remaining cigarettes in the house, and go to bed to face the new day. Fingers crossed it works this time, for good! The health benefits alone make this an incredibly sensible idea, but the other basic fact is that at the moment we just can't afford to keep going. We're compromising on our food shopping budget to buy cigarettes (and that is just STUPID!), we're raiding savings accounts, and last week, the ultimate embarrassment was purchasing a packet of cigarettes after breaking into my copper coin piggy bank, and laying out the money on the shop counter in 1cent and 2cent coins...that has got to be desperate, and I want some pride back!

The weather is just too bloody awful right now to be motivated about specifically going out walking, but I'm trying to make more effort in my daily chores to do them in a more active way to compensate. I stride out with the dogs around the fields, I don't move my car from place to place in town, instead I park more centrally, and walk from bank to shop, to chemist etc. I make myself do the stuff my thyroid tells me that I can't be bothered to do, and I'm getting stuck into house-cleaning with a frenzy of activity. As soon as the weather shows any sign of breaking (just stopping raining would be good enough!) I *will* get my walking boots on, and get the hell out there!

Aww, crap, this turned out to be a loooong entry....I really need to work on perfecting those short, snappy journal updates...thanks for reading this far, if you're still awake.

Under Pressure

So, today I got the results back from my doctor regarding my 24hr blood pressure monitor...and whilst I was pleased enough with the averages, and could positively identify the causes of the 2 high spikes [full caffeine tea, and naughty (read: fighting) dogs]...my doctor was less than pleased. And whilst my 'waking' averages were what most blood pressure/hypertension websites consider the high side of normal or even mild-high, my doctor was still casting doom and gloom, looking at me like I was about to drop dead in front of her, and talking about that oh-so scary BP medication. Meanwhile nearly every BP/Hypertension website claims I'm well within the non-medication range...go figure, because I can't?

The way I look at it....I'm over-weight. I smoke. I currently lead a sedentary (computer-based) lifestyle, with my daily dog walks more closely resembling some mild wandering around the fields, whilst my (7) dogs run themselves into the ground. *I* know there are improvements I could make there, right now...and after the 24hr BP Monitor I'm determined to make some changes.
Oh yeah...I'm also hyperthyroid....and yeah, one of the many myriad of symptoms....high BP....so why do both my doctor and my endocrinologist choose to treat my (mild IMHO) high blood pressure as a totally separate issue, and rain fire and brimstone down on me, threatening imminent death....yet, lump all my other symptoms (hair loss, brittle nails, dry scaly skin, horrific periods, weight gain, mood swings, exopthalmia, chronic lethargy etc etc etc ad infinitum) into the mighty *thyroid* basket, and not treat *those* individually???
On the plus side, and there are a few, my cholesterol levels are low (DoG only knows how?), my blood glucose levels are well within range, my kidney and liver functions are good. My ECG results are consistently Good/OK, with no evidence of narrowing arteries or impending heart disease. So that rules out those doom-laden indicators that often go hand in hand with High BP.

So, how do I want to approach and face up to my (mild, I insist) high blood pressure?
- Well, I think, starting a good regular exercise plan is a good start....sure, I can't afford a gym membership, but walking costs nothing, and the gains are positive and immeasurable.
- Stopping smoking, that's a no-brainer....but easier said than done. Have done it successfully in the past going cold turkey....don't ask why I'm currently back smoking, after staying off them for over 18 months, let's just call it extreme stupidity on my part. In my experience the nicotine replacement therapies don't work for me, what does work for me is to give myself a thorough good talking to, get my head in the right place, and then stop, stop dead....before they stop me dead.
- Lose some weight. So far, I've lost 5lbs since Christmas, and that's without trying....I just need to show myself what I can do with a little more effort. My diet on the whole really isn't bad, no, honestly! (my hubby, who's been eating the same food as me for the last 10 years, is disgustingly slim, and got gold stars and heaps of praise from the medical team at his most recent workplace physical) But I could get a bit more strict with myself on portion sizes. Cut a little more fat out of the diet (cheese and mayo would be the main culprits), and for the sake of my blood pressure declare war on salt.
- Drop the caffeine. On average I probably drink 8-10 cups of tea in a normal day. I used to also find time to quaff up to 3 cans of Diet Coke a day. Combined with my total inability to pass a good coffee machine in a petrol station or shopping centre, and its hard to believe I wasn't wired to the moon 24hrs a day. Currently, I haven't had a single can of coke in several weeks. Bought my first box of thin (de-caff) tea last week, and managed to walk past a few coffee machines without engaging auto-pilot and filling up on hot coffee. Presently I'm having 1-2 cups of fat-caff tea in the morning, and then drinking thin (de-caff) tea the rest of the day. So far so good, and when the box of fat-caff teabags is finished I won't replace it, no matter how much hubby squeals.
- Drink more water, another easy no-brainer but a good habit I just can't seem to make stick. When I'm disciplined enough to fill an empty 2 litre bottle in the morning, then I'm generally disciplined enough to drink it....but often by the time I remember my good intentions its lunch time or later, and I give myself a thousand excuses as to why I can't be bothered to go fill the bottle and I promise myself to try harder the next day...you know how the story goes.

The BP Monitor results are a wake up call, and even if it involves lengthy arguing, pleading and bartering with my doctor and my endocrinologist, I'm determined to stay off BP medication...now is the time to listen to the alarm clock, and shake myself out of dreamland....!

24hr Blood Pressure Monitor

This is hell!

I'm plugged into an automatic blood pressure machine....that goes off every 20 minutes, and records my results in a little battery powered gizmo that attaches to my belt, that the nurse can download when I go back into the surgery tomorrow morning.

Every 20 minutes it inflates and cuts off all blood supply to my arm, in a death like grip, for what feels like hours.....ouch!

No idea how I'm meant to sleep with this thing going off constantly, but I am assured that between 10pm and 6am it switches to hourly checks...so I'll be able to sleep in 60 minute bursts, whoop-de-do!

Let's Talk Symptoms

I have no clue as to what is going on right now!

I feel awful, I feel grumpy, I'm snappy, my blood pressure has gone haywire, my monthly cycle has gone stupid, and is now a 14 day cycle!! I have the hands of a lizard. My hair is disgusting, its gone brittle and is falling out again.

I find my brain has once again gone to total mush. I forget what I'm saying half the time, I struggle to find simple words in conversation, which is very frustrating. I have the same conversation over and over again with my (very patient) husband, because I've forgotten that I've already told him something, sometimes I'm telling him again less than 5 minutes later. And at other times I swear blind I've told him stuff, only for that particular conversation to have actually only taken place in my own head. I forget many basic things, eg locking the door when I go out. What I've even gone shopping for when I get there.

Yesterday, even with a shopping list in my hand, I found myself wandering totally aimlessly around the supermarket, in a total dreamland. When I got to the checkout it took several minutes before I registered the fact that the girl on the check-out was asking me a question?

For the first time in years my hands and feet are constantly cold....and I'm the girl with the reputation for never getting cold feet, for wearing my flip-flops all year round, even in the snow and frost.

My right eye gets sore occasionally, a dull pain in behind the eye, and I've noticed in the mirror that the pupil in my right eye *sits* slightly differently to the left. If I'm reading a book and I close one eye, my left eye will focus on the text, but my right eye can't.

Once again I'm the pyjama-wearing slob, who just 'can't be bothered' with anything.

According to my latest bloods I'm now firmly in the hypO camp...and I'm hating it. I don't get to see my endo for another few weeks, and my doctor made me promise not to self-medicate and not to reduce my meds until I have discussed it with my endo. Which makes the morning ritual of pill taking very depressing, as I know with each pill I swallow I am making myself worse not better.

I don't know what advice I need from you all, or even what discussion I'm looking to provoke...but just being able to pour all this out to folks who might understand is very probably therapy enough. (My husband tries his best, and is an utter saint to put up with me, especially at this time, but he doesn't really understand what I'm going through)

Currently no-one seems too bothered by my goitre? There has been no further investigation since the ultrasound scan in 2004, by a different medical 'specialist'. My current endo has barely mentioned it, although its bigger now than it was 4 years ago. And the other side has started to grow a little too. Should I be pushing harder to get it investigated. Sometimes my throat hurts (aches) and often its hard to swallow, like pushing food past a brick in my throat...I'm concerned about this, heck I'm very worried about it, but seemingly neither my doctor or my endo are, so should I just relax and ignore it?

And one more thing...my hubby and I *would* like to start a family. I fully understand that while I'm on carbimazole that's a complete no-no...and I also understand that because of my thyroid problems it might not even be possible. I also need to lose a significant amount of weight. But as I'm 35 this year, we'd obviously like start trying sooner rather than later. So anyone been in that position. How long am I likely to stay on the carbimazole? What are the long term med options. Do I just give up on the dream of ever having children?

If you've made it this far, thanks for reading.