Wednesday 31 March 2010

Bug-Eyed Freak

Had my appointment with the Eye Specialist at the hospital this morning....and its OFFICIAL, I *am* a bug-eyed freak ROFL

Apparently the absolute maximum that an eye should protrude is 20mm....and my left one sticks out by 21mm...and my right eye beats the lot at 23mm Shocked Cheesy

Back to him in 6 months time to measure my eyeball protrusion again Grin

Its known as exopthalmia, and is a symptom of Thyroid Eye Disease, Grave's Opthalmia, call it what you like...they are going to re-measure every 6 months....and if they start really bulging out there's some kind of corrective surgery they can do behind the eye....I told him there's no fecking way I'm letting anyone poke about, surgically, behind my eye! Vomit

The Eye Specialist also gave me a prescription for some eye drops/fake tears for when my eyes feel extra tired and/or gritty. But he said most over-the-counter eye drops are just as good, its just a case of keeping them lubricated and not letting them get dry.

The nurse this morning did a pre-appointment eye test/vision assessment..and she said my vision was pretty much perfect, 100%, 20/20 etc etc (phew!)...and then she turned to me and said "why exactly do you have an appointment here?" Cheesy Cheesy

Monday 29 March 2010

Good News & Scary News!

Down 3 lbs this week...woo hoo!

Delighted with that...although I reckon its totally undeserved!

Knowing I was heading into the weekend from hell...with a friend's very messy birthday party on the Saturday night....and an almost-equally boozy night planned with another group of friends on the Friday night, before trying to act naturally in front of a TV camera crew on Saturday morning....meant that I chickened out and stopped the blue pills Thursday evening. Again, I tried to make the best decisions I could, but also knew I wouldn't be punished by over-doing it a little.

So I think my saving grace was Wii Fit Plus....oh how I love that! I did 40 mins each day all last week, and I truly think that is what made the difference and got me over the rocky road that was this weekend just gone.

Ramped it up to a 60 minute session today, and hope to sustain that each day this week....although this evening I'm definitely feeling those extra 20 minutes that I did today...so will go back to 40 mins of daily routines if I'm struggling.

The weather here today was utterly horrible.....cold, cold rain and nasty wind...the dogs didn't want to stay outside for any longer than necessary, and neither did I...so for days like today the Wii Fit Plus is *perfect*!!! Looks like the rest of week is going to be just as horrible, and the forecasters are even talking about snow...so I am delighted I broke the bank and forked out for it. The Wii will more than earn its money this week, that's for sure!

In other news I was kind of confused to receive an appointment letter this morning for the surgeon who's going to be operating on me...for the 8th April....10 days time!!!? I was under the impression that I wasn't going to be seeing him until December....so yikes, now I'm feeling my weight loss is inferior again, and he's going to tell me off for not being a Perfect 10, and tell me that he can't operate, blah blah blah....very curious to see what he says at that appointment, but also dreading it....I thought I had until December to get as much weight as I could off, before I hit the operating table...and now I'm not so sure what is going on at all?
Also had a job interview last Friday....I so badly need a job right now, and so desperately *want* the job I was interviewed for...so any weight loss I may (or may not) show next week will no doubt be due to the fact that I've been chewing my nails down to the knuckles with anxiety, waiting for their decision... I'm meant to be informed by the end of this week.

PS - Anyone else starting to notice a pattern on my weekends...? I really, really need to rein that in....whilst I seem to be getting away with it for now, I know its going to bite me in the arse at some point, and sooner than I think too!

Monday 22 March 2010

Latest Xenical Update

OK so I'm up 1 lbs this week....but actually I'm delighted with that.

This weekend just passed was going to be a bad one, so I deliberately went off the pills from Friday morning to reduce any potential side effects...which were thankfully minimal! Back on them this morning - Monday - of course, and back on track.
But is it bad to say I actually enjoyed not having to be quite so strict with stuff yesterday...I didn't go stupid, don't get me wrong, I still made better decisions over stuff than I would have done a month ago...but it was nice not to be such a food-weirdo and have to tell my hostess that I couldn't eat anything (or only *tiny* portions) of the amazing food she had gone out of her way to prepare for us all!
(and I still managed to cycle 8 miles on Saturday...and couldn't believe how much easier it is now to cycle those distances now!)

Added to that its also TOTM...well I say TOTM, but I think its more accurate to just say 'That Time'.....because my cycles are *SO* wildly irregular (thyroid blah!), it can be anything from Time Of The Month to Time of....2 months, 6 weeks, 3 months and even fortnightly (!!! and yes, fortnightly cycles ARE utter hell!).....currently this is Time Of...6 weeks...ho hum!
Apologies to all if that's TMI for you

So to only be up 1 lb this week is pretty miraculous in my eyes!

Didn't get a chance to play with the Wii Fit Plus yet...as we had major telly traumas....our TV proving far too prehistoric and ancient to allow the Wii to work....got that sorted thanks to a good friend who recently upgraded her Home Ents system, and we saved her old TV from the recycling centre! Never mind any animal welfare volunteering that hubby and I do...this weekend we did a bit of TV Welfare & Rescue! So I started Wii Fit Plus today too (works great for taking your mind off the crippling cramps!)...and I'm looking forward to seeing positive results & progress from supplementing my walking & cycling with the Wii

Wednesday 17 March 2010

Almost Forgot...



We're having a quiet enough day here today...and heading in to Dublin this evening (are we mad?) to see Cesar Millan at the O2

All Systems Go!

A couple of days late with this weekly Xenical update...don't know where my time is going these days?

Warning, its a long one...grab a cuppa and make yourself comfy!

Anyway...1 pound down this week....which is OK. I'd like to have seen more, but I'll happily take any loss on my scales...looking back over my diet for the previous 7 days, and it seems OK, so I can only conclude its all down to my laziness regarding water intake, and not being as disciplined regarding exercise.

Monday was spent in hospital (routine appointment, not an emergency!)
First up was my dietitian who I see every 2 months (and can chat on the phone to at any time if I'm having a crisis). She weighed me in at 300lbs, whereas my scales weighed me that morning at 295lbs...which is OK...at least now I know the margin of error for my scales (hers are calibrated regularly!), and as I use mine weekly, and only get to sit on hers every 2 months, I will continue to use the figures on my own scales for my weigh-ins. Also, my weigh in at home was in my jim-jams...and in her office I was fully clothed...not 5lbs difference I'm sure, but still.

Then after my appointment with her, I then headed to the ENT department, for my appointment with the consultant surgeon who's doing my op. And had a very interesting session there...which involved a conference call, in my presence, with both my dietitian and my Endocrinologist...and the conclusion that they have now officially drawn is that I am, for definite, one of those 4%ers who actually gain weight whilst hyperthyroid, instead of more typically suffering dramatic weight loss, despite increased appetite.
So...they have decided to go ahead with the op now, regardless of how much I weigh...and the deadline for my pre-op consultation is 9 months (that's when I'll finally be put on the surgery waiting list - so fingers crossed could be on the operating table before march 2011...which is excellent news.
Not only because I will no longer feel like *such* a huge failure every time I go into hospital and get weighed by the nurses in the ENT & Endo departments...who do absolutely nothing to hide their disdain and tut loudly as they update my patient records each time.
And secondly, because for the last 18 months I feel like my life has been on hold waiting for a decision on my surgery...initially they were adamant they wouldn't do it until I was below 200lbs, and now they have conceded that it just needs to be done, sooner rather than later, regardless of my weight.
Until I have this op we have virtually no control over my thyroid function, and I'm not allowed to start a family...so although its only a pin-prick in the far distance, I do finally feel there is some light at the end of the tunnel...rather than treading water, and spending another couple of years trying to shift weight that won't move, whilst the ticking of my body clock gets louder and louder until it finally gives up and I'm too old to realistically start a family.
I am so delighted to have finally had a definite decision from my Endo regarding my status as one of the rare 4%ers - its something he has mentioned in the past, but previously refused to confirm it for definite. But it really does seem like the more I try and tickle my metabolism into working for me rather than against me, the more my thyroid fights back and suppresses my metabolism even more.

However, despite the relief of being recognised as a 4%er it doesn't let me off the hook...I still have to keep going, popping the blue pills, and watching my diet like a hawk...it just means my journey will be more difficult...and still the pressure is on to drop the weight, because despite the fact that they are now going ahead with my operation, regardless of my weight, I do also recognise that the heavier I am the harder it is for the anaesthetist, and the higher the risk for me....so it is in *my* own interests to get as much weight off as I can, and to get as 'heart-fit' as I can, before the anaesthetist comes at me with his cocktail of drugs...

I'm trying to walk every day (not just the daily dawdle with the dogs - but a proper, get puffing walk out)...but the Irish weather is so unpredictable its just not always possible.
I'm also trying to cycle more...in fact after my hospital appointments on Monday I drove down to the Shannon, and cycled for about an hour down the river path...felt great afterwards, really chuffed with myself! But cycling locally is reserved strictly for the brave, our local lanes are populated with speeding local lads in their rice-racers, of half blind monks from the local monastery who probably don't have driving licences but who are generally ignored by the local Gardai...despite going out decked in all the hi-viz gear I can find, and looking like some safety fanatic I've had my pedals clipped a couple of times in the last few weeks...so am now limiting my cycling to when I have the time to drive out and find a properly designated cycling trail off the road...or when I'm out bikejoring with my dogs.
So, yesterday I purchased a Nintendo Wii and Wii Fit Plus....I collect it tomorrow...and I just hope I'll be disciplined enough to do it daily.
Would welcome comments from any of you guys regarding the use of Wii Fit to help keep you fit and get the weight off...have absolutely no idea what to expect, but both my GP and my Dietitian have recommended it.

I also really need to get on top of my water intake though, I truly feel that is the key!

Oh, and as of Monday, I'm 10lbs down from my start weight of 305lbs...so that's the first part of my personal 10 x 10 in 2010 Mission done! Yay!!!

Blimey....that was a long post...almost a stream of consciousness spewing from my keyboard! If you've got this far, thank you x

Monday 15 March 2010

Do You Wii?

In an effort to add some variation to my exercise routine, and find something that will make me work harder than I want to on lazy days...not to mention, something fun I can do indoors on those infamous 'soft days' we have here in Ireland, I have been trying to grab a bargain Wii Fit Plus & Console on Ebay for a while...and finally won one last night. I'm collecting it tomorrow and can't wait! Feel like a kid at Christmas wanting to play with her new toy!

Following up to last week's poached-eggs-tango-drama....it seems it was the BBQ after all...have had poached eggs a couple of times since, and all is well, no tango!
Can't think what at the BBQ might have triggered it, I thought I was so good...but will have to be extra cautious next time!

Monday 8 March 2010

Aaarrggh - I've Been Tango'd !

Another 4 lbs down this week which I am delighted with

Xenical really *IS* proving to be quite magical!

Especially after another potentially difficult weekend, staying in Roscommon with a different group of people. However, I'm very pleased to say that I think I successfully managed to side step most of the landmines in my way.
Saturday night was a pot luck supper with huge post of delicious stew and another pot of chilli bubbling away on the stove, torturing me with the heavenly smells wafting from the kitchen...after a quiet word with our hostess, she gladly cooked me a couple of quorn burgers and also a huge mountain of veggies...and as a reward to myself for not succumbing to the stew or chilli, I did allow myself the tiniest portion (an inch square, honestly!) of her home-made chocolate biscuit cake...truly sublime!
And at the BBQ on Sunday I hogged out on salads, and gherkins (!) of all things, and no, I'm not preggers(!!??!), and allowed myself two pieces of chicken from the BBQ, although peeling the perfect & crispy skins off the two chicken pieces was heart-breaking (but my dog surely appreciated and totally benefited from my sacrifice ha ha!)
It was an activity weekend for mad folks who do silly things with their dogs (i.e dryland mushing / dog-scootering / bikejoring) so I felt virtually angelic after cycling hard on both Saturday and Sunday too! I just won't talk about the bottle of vodka I consumed Sat night

But after all that virtuous eating, and healthy activity, a very strange thing happened this morning....my first side effect!! Aaaarrggh.
Now a couple of things this morning could have been the result...so I am going to repeat my breakfast another day soon, in order that I can rule in or rule out certain things.
Having successfully eaten an egg, fried no less(!), last week...I thought I'd treat myself to poached eggs for breakfast.
So perhaps that was my mistake...whilst 1 egg is maybe OK for me, perhaps 2 eggs is pushing my luck?
But, the reason I want to repeat this breakfast just to double check (because I do love poached eggs) is because I had a small issue with my blue pill this morning.
Now I do have a problem with some really simple things, mainly due to brain fog, a well known thyroid symptom. I know most, if not all, people can do something occasionally, and not be able to remember 5 mins later if they've done it or not...but for me, and many other 'thyroid brain foggers' things like that happen *all* the time, you really think you're going mad sometimes!
I took all my other pills before I even put the kettle on this morning, and put the blue pill aside on the table for when I came back to the table to eat my breakfast. at least I think I did...I know that it was most certainly my intention to do that, as that's what I always do.
But this morning, when I sat down with my breakfast, there was no blue pill waiting for me. It was gone from the packet, so I definitely popped it in my hand when I was dishing out my pills this morning.
So, either I did take the blue pill with all the other pills without thinking....or...whilst I was busy in the kitchen poaching eggs one of my dogs snaffled it from the table (don't ask, they are sneaky beggars!). Anyway I popped out another blue pill and took that before I started chowing on the poached eggs.

Which means...I don't know if the side effects, which came on about an hour or so later, were due to having 2 poached eggs or by mistakenly taking 2 blue pills...hence why I want to try poached eggs again and see what happens.

I guess its hard to believe I can eat a chicken kebab from a takeaway with no side effects at all, but seemingly 2 innocuous poached eggs on toast unleash the side effects from hell? But I suppose these pills are in control of us now, and what they say goes, whether it makes sense or not?

Ach, wasn't meant to ramble on for that much...but anyway, there's my update

Tuesday 2 March 2010

Water, water everywhere...

...but not in me.

And everywhere I look I'm told that, in addition to my Xenical pills, and virtuous diet, I should be snarfing *at least* 2 litres of water each day!

But I'm really struggling to get the water in to me the last couple of days though...every morning I fill (or more accurately 'top up') a 2 litre water bottle, and fill my pint glasses from that bottle....but, apart from a swig around 10pm to wash down pills....if I haven't stopped drinking water by 8pm then I'm up and down all night to the loo....and I just can't seem to get 2 litres down by 8pm, let alone more

And any (clean & family-friendly!) tips on getting 2 litres down my throat?

Monday 1 March 2010

Low BP...eek!

Checked my blood pressure not long after I posted earlier, as I was feeling really, really crappy and it came in at a worryingly low 113/55
Will keep an eye on that for the next few days...due to go into my GP for blood tests next Monday, and hopefully I won't have to go in beforehand!

I'm on medication for High Blood Pressure (Hypertension)...namely Omesar Plus...and it would be nice not to have to take them anymore, but I'm not holding out much hope...I think it was just one of those blips.

So Far So Good!

Well I made it through my first week on Xenical with no hint of side effects...and was pleased to see a 5lb loss on the scales this morning.

However, I will be honest, and say I'd like to have seen more come off, if only because I think my record for 'first week' weight loss was a very memorable first week at WW a few years ago, where I lost a whopping 12 lbs, and on my (fairly frequent) previous 'first weeks' on any diet plan I'm usually in the 7-10 lbs range.

But saying all that, I had a difficult weekend in that I was staying with a group of folks, where the annual tradition for this particular trip was to call the local takeaway for a monster delivery on the Friday and Saturday night. I had made the sensible decision to bring my own food to cook in the evenings (gammon steaks, salad & cous cous)...but I guess I started on the vodka too early because when the takeaway menus came out on both evenings, all thoughts of grilling my own gammon steaks went flying out of the window. But despite the vodka consumption I still had enough sense to make the best out of a bad situation, and on both nights chose, what I considered, the safest option of a chicken kebab, with extra salad...which, whilst not necessarily being the best meal on a xenical diet, I fortunately suffered no side effects...on either night, so I guess I got away with it.

So last night, hubby and I finally grilled the gammon steaks...and I was brave enough to try a couple of fried eggs (fried with the one-cal spray)...and that seemed to work out OK too...sure, you can't have gammon without an egg!

And therefore, in fairness, after a weekend of food hell...if anything I should be delighted that the scales showed a loss of any sorts at all...and I really need to straighten my head out!

I feel like I need to go and write lines in punishment for how I feel...

5 lbs off is good
5 lbs off is good
5 lbs off is good
5 lbs off is good
5 lbs off is good
5 lbs off is good....