Ups & Downs

I'm just frustrated.

Through the month of January I lost 6 lbs in weight, without even trying. No honestly! The only reason I know I made the loss was due to some swanky new digital scales that my mum bought me...so, whilst making absolutely no effort to lose any weight I religiously jumped on them once a week, just to see what was going on. The weight was dropping off, with literally no effort at all on my part....wonderful! Losing weight, whilst finishing off the Christmas indulgences.....as well as having a January birthday, involving far too much of the wrong types of food and alcohol, whilst still losing weight....hurrah! (got to love the vagaries of Grave's Disease!)

So then I decide to make an effort. In the firm belief that I'm doing everything right I spend a week dutifully going for daily walks, working up a sweat, getting out of breath, drinking water until its coming out of my ears (just running to the loo every half an hour was surely an exercise in itself!), and really, really watching what I was eating.

Hubby had a 'cholesterol' warning at his last health check, so we've cut out as much fat as physically possible, dropped all salt, and we're both really making an effort to do things right. Eating oily fish, bulking up on vegetables, white meat, omega 3, 6, & 9's, cutting out the cheese, going for low fat options.

For the first time in the 10 years I've known him he's willingly drinking his coffee with low fat milk, and reaching for my Flora No Salt spread for his morning toast, when he's not doing himself up some porridge in the mornings, that is.

He doesn't need to lose weight...he's a total string bean, but I'm delighted to see him taking more of an interest in what he actually eats....the fact that he could eat tons of crap and not put on weight has always made me jealous, but watching him lay into the butter and grease has always worried me too.

So, we're making a concerted effort to eat properly, reading labels, avoiding processed food as much as possible etc etc etc.

After the first week of "Brand New Me"....I was a little disappointed to find the scales recorded a 3lb rise....wtf?

Unperturbed, I made some 'TOTM excuses'....ignored it and carried on with my new regime. 'TOTM' was late anyway, so can't honestly use that excuse for the first week of weight gain.

Then yesterday, after another week of walking (longer and further distances this week), getting sweaty (even sweatier than last week!) and out of breath (more huffy puffy than last week too!), with a 2 litre water bottle permanently fixed in my hand throughout the day, and not being put down until its empty in the evening, eating properly, breakfast, fruit, veggies, white meats, making my own wholemeal/wholegrain bread, wholegrain pasta, blah blah blah....and the scales show ANOTHER 3LB GAIN!!!! Now I'm seriously pi**ed off!

In actively trying to sort myself out and lose weight I've actually gained *all* the weight I lost, without trying, and I'm back weighing what I weighed on the 1st January this year!

So what the hell am I doing wrong?

I refuse to blame this on my thyroid, I can't keep going "oh its my thyroid" when my body doesn't work the way it should. I'm starting to believe I use that as an excuse all to often. Perhaps I'm in thyroid-denial?! Ha ha! I just don't believe that the simple fact of my blood levels going into HypOt are sufficient for me to add 6 lbs in 2 weeks, whilst actively trying to LOSE weight.....???

Yesterday's walk was really hard work, for the first time in two weeks I just couldn't get into it...my feet hurt from start to finish, my lower legs got too tight too early, my legs felt heavy, and I just found the whole thing a struggle. I forced myself to keep going, but slowed myself down and took it a lot easier....determined to keep going at all costs, but recognising that pushing myself too hard would be potentially more damaging, both physically and psychologically. And then around 10pm last night I suddenly felt really drained, and it was all I could do to sit in the armchair and hold my head upright....I said to hubby it just felt as if suddenly my engine had run out of fuel! There was still loads to do before I headed to bed, but I just couldn't get up and do them.

However, its not all doom and gloom! This morning's walk felt brilliant, everything went right, and it felt good to push myself a little bit harder than before. Maybe yesterday's walk was just a blip?

Oh, and one of my foster dogs *might* be off to a new home this weekend. Its very bitter-sweet, and the hardest part of being a foster...letting them go to their new homes, especially this one, he's the nicest lad and he's been here almost 2 years with absolutely no one showing any interest in offering him a new home....so we're thrilled to have finally found him his ultimate home (rural, and with three young boys to keep him amused), but he's been here so long he feels like part of the furniture, and we've watched him grow up and mature into a delightful well-mannered dog, from the total hooligan we took in all that time ago. Will be very sad to say goodbye, but he's going somewhere local, so once he's settled in to his new home we're really looking forward to being able to visit him and see him around locally.