Hospital food, and TV wars!

[posted retrospectively & not necessarily in order - 1st June, day after the op]

At some point in the afternoon I was moved to a semi-private room, where I shared with another girl. She'd just come back after developing some problems a week after tonsil surgery.
She proceeded to hog the TV remote control, stuck it on mute, then when Desperate Housewives came on later that evening I had to endure it at top volume (when she was discharged the next morning, the very first thing I did was grab the remote control from the side of her bed!)
I was still too tired & spaced to bother with resurrecting any sense of fairness over the TV availability, so I just plugged the iPod into my ears, and watched the moving pictures until Mum and Hubby turned up during visiting hours.

I still wasn't eating very much. I'd forced down a yogurt for breakfast, under great duress from stern-looking nurses. I accepted some soup for lunch, but couldn't get past one mouthful.
Don't get me wrong, I know hospital food doesn't generally have a great reputation world-wide, but I was pleasantly surprised by the variety, tastiness and quality of the hospital food I was given. When my appetite did return I really enjoyed each and every meal. But for now, I just wasn't hungry.

At some point during the morning they emptied the vacuum pump on my surgical chest drain. Overnight it had sucked lots of blood & goo out of me, and I was now becoming more aware of this hose sticking out of the front of my chest. They kept calling it a tube, but it certainly felt like a ruddy great hose! And it was really starting to be a very sore pain-in-the-arse. I had a little clip on the container, so when I went off for walkies ( the nurses were adamant that I should be marching laps of the hospital on a very regular basis - what happened to rest & recuperation?) I could clip the vacuum container-thingy onto my clothing...and thus I could march about, with my lovely container of blood and goo on full public show, hanging off the lapel of my dressing gown...nice!

My surgeon came around at some point in the morning, to tell me how pleased he was about how it had all gone. He apologised for the size of the scar, but said it was as small as he could manage, given the size of the goitre.

Roughly every 6 hours, day & night, a vampire came visiting (different one each time) stealing lots of blood from my poor right arm, and disappearing off with a swish of their cape.
On the strength of these visits I was kept informed of the fact that despite being a Grave's Hyper patient my calcium levels hadn't dipped at all, but that they would continue to monitor them, We all concurred that this can only be due to the sterling work I had been doing with my Endo's Senior Registrar over the last few months, chipping away at my carbimazole dose, ever so slowly, so that for the first time in over 2½ years my blood levels not only come down into range, but had also stayed in range for over 6 weeks. My surgeon had explained to me that the more Hyper I was at the time of the operation, the more my calcium would crash as my body went into instant withdrawal. So thanks to Dr. R and his endless patience and gentle ways, we were pretty much as good as it gets on the day of the operation. But also many thanks to my surgeon, for having a steady hand and not harassing my parathyroid glands whilst he was in there digging about with his scalpel, as that was another common cause of a calcium crash.

Late in the afternoon new girl moved into the bed next door. She was brought in with stomach pains, and put on our ward for observation as there were no beds available on the general wards. We got on great, and came to a mutually beneficial agreement over the TV Remote. She made me laugh so many times, and listened carefully when my mother joined the nurses in nagging me to go walking. She made it her mission to take me off for random walks around the place, as and when she'd decided I'd been laying around too long. If you ever read this, and recognise yourself as that girl, well, thanks J, you were a star!

Meanwhile mum and hubby, when they weren't being doting relatives beside my bed, and listening to my alternating mumbling, croaking & whingeing, were amusing themselves between the 2 shifts of visiting hours, by shopping lots in the local shopping centre and sampling all the muffins in the coffee shops they found!

A friend of mine worked on a neighbouring ward, so she kept me sane too, by popping in whenever she got a chance to make sure I was OK and had everything I needed. She helped break up the long, slow mornings between drug rounds, vampire visits and blood pressure checks. Thanks N, you rock too!

And just for the gore-fans amongst you, here are some pics of my neck and chest drain, taken less than 24 hours after the operation...absolutely no idea what I had to smile about....I was sore, woozy, uncomfortable & grumpy - it must have been a morphine-induced smile, is all I can say! :)

Latest Xenical Update

OK so I'm up 1 lbs this week....but actually I'm delighted with that.

This weekend just passed was going to be a bad one, so I deliberately went off the pills from Friday morning to reduce any potential side effects...which were thankfully minimal! Back on them this morning - Monday - of course, and back on track.
But is it bad to say I actually enjoyed not having to be quite so strict with stuff yesterday...I didn't go stupid, don't get me wrong, I still made better decisions over stuff than I would have done a month ago...but it was nice not to be such a food-weirdo and have to tell my hostess that I couldn't eat anything (or only *tiny* portions) of the amazing food she had gone out of her way to prepare for us all!
(and I still managed to cycle 8 miles on Saturday...and couldn't believe how much easier it is now to cycle those distances now!)

Added to that its also TOTM...well I say TOTM, but I think its more accurate to just say 'That Time'.....because my cycles are *SO* wildly irregular (thyroid blah!), it can be anything from Time Of The Month to Time of....2 months, 6 weeks, 3 months and even fortnightly (!!! and yes, fortnightly cycles ARE utter hell!).....currently this is Time Of...6 weeks...ho hum!
Apologies to all if that's TMI for you

So to only be up 1 lb this week is pretty miraculous in my eyes!

Didn't get a chance to play with the Wii Fit Plus yet...as we had major telly traumas....our TV proving far too prehistoric and ancient to allow the Wii to work....got that sorted thanks to a good friend who recently upgraded her Home Ents system, and we saved her old TV from the recycling centre! Never mind any animal welfare volunteering that hubby and I do...this weekend we did a bit of TV Welfare & Rescue! So I started Wii Fit Plus today too (works great for taking your mind off the crippling cramps!)...and I'm looking forward to seeing positive results & progress from supplementing my walking & cycling with the Wii

All Systems Go!

A couple of days late with this weekly Xenical update...don't know where my time is going these days?

Warning, its a long one...grab a cuppa and make yourself comfy!

Anyway...1 pound down this week....which is OK. I'd like to have seen more, but I'll happily take any loss on my scales...looking back over my diet for the previous 7 days, and it seems OK, so I can only conclude its all down to my laziness regarding water intake, and not being as disciplined regarding exercise.

Monday was spent in hospital (routine appointment, not an emergency!)
First up was my dietitian who I see every 2 months (and can chat on the phone to at any time if I'm having a crisis). She weighed me in at 300lbs, whereas my scales weighed me that morning at 295lbs...which is OK...at least now I know the margin of error for my scales (hers are calibrated regularly!), and as I use mine weekly, and only get to sit on hers every 2 months, I will continue to use the figures on my own scales for my weigh-ins. Also, my weigh in at home was in my jim-jams...and in her office I was fully clothed...not 5lbs difference I'm sure, but still.

Then after my appointment with her, I then headed to the ENT department, for my appointment with the consultant surgeon who's doing my op. And had a very interesting session there...which involved a conference call, in my presence, with both my dietitian and my Endocrinologist...and the conclusion that they have now officially drawn is that I am, for definite, one of those 4%ers who actually gain weight whilst hyperthyroid, instead of more typically suffering dramatic weight loss, despite increased appetite.
So...they have decided to go ahead with the op now, regardless of how much I weigh...and the deadline for my pre-op consultation is 9 months (that's when I'll finally be put on the surgery waiting list - so fingers crossed could be on the operating table before march 2011...which is excellent news.
Not only because I will no longer feel like *such* a huge failure every time I go into hospital and get weighed by the nurses in the ENT & Endo departments...who do absolutely nothing to hide their disdain and tut loudly as they update my patient records each time.
And secondly, because for the last 18 months I feel like my life has been on hold waiting for a decision on my surgery...initially they were adamant they wouldn't do it until I was below 200lbs, and now they have conceded that it just needs to be done, sooner rather than later, regardless of my weight.
Until I have this op we have virtually no control over my thyroid function, and I'm not allowed to start a family...so although its only a pin-prick in the far distance, I do finally feel there is some light at the end of the tunnel...rather than treading water, and spending another couple of years trying to shift weight that won't move, whilst the ticking of my body clock gets louder and louder until it finally gives up and I'm too old to realistically start a family.
I am so delighted to have finally had a definite decision from my Endo regarding my status as one of the rare 4%ers - its something he has mentioned in the past, but previously refused to confirm it for definite. But it really does seem like the more I try and tickle my metabolism into working for me rather than against me, the more my thyroid fights back and suppresses my metabolism even more.

However, despite the relief of being recognised as a 4%er it doesn't let me off the hook...I still have to keep going, popping the blue pills, and watching my diet like a hawk...it just means my journey will be more difficult...and still the pressure is on to drop the weight, because despite the fact that they are now going ahead with my operation, regardless of my weight, I do also recognise that the heavier I am the harder it is for the anaesthetist, and the higher the risk for me....so it is in *my* own interests to get as much weight off as I can, and to get as 'heart-fit' as I can, before the anaesthetist comes at me with his cocktail of drugs...

I'm trying to walk every day (not just the daily dawdle with the dogs - but a proper, get puffing walk out)...but the Irish weather is so unpredictable its just not always possible.
I'm also trying to cycle more...in fact after my hospital appointments on Monday I drove down to the Shannon, and cycled for about an hour down the river path...felt great afterwards, really chuffed with myself! But cycling locally is reserved strictly for the brave, our local lanes are populated with speeding local lads in their rice-racers, of half blind monks from the local monastery who probably don't have driving licences but who are generally ignored by the local Gardai...despite going out decked in all the hi-viz gear I can find, and looking like some safety fanatic I've had my pedals clipped a couple of times in the last few weeks...so am now limiting my cycling to when I have the time to drive out and find a properly designated cycling trail off the road...or when I'm out bikejoring with my dogs.
So, yesterday I purchased a Nintendo Wii and Wii Fit Plus....I collect it tomorrow...and I just hope I'll be disciplined enough to do it daily.
Would welcome comments from any of you guys regarding the use of Wii Fit to help keep you fit and get the weight off...have absolutely no idea what to expect, but both my GP and my Dietitian have recommended it.

I also really need to get on top of my water intake though, I truly feel that is the key!

Oh, and as of Monday, I'm 10lbs down from my start weight of 305lbs...so that's the first part of my personal 10 x 10 in 2010 Mission done! Yay!!!

Blimey....that was a long post...almost a stream of consciousness spewing from my keyboard! If you've got this far, thank you x

Let There Be Rock!

What can I say!?

A brilliant night from start to finish! We had great seats and the crowd around us were totally up for it. The support band, The Answer, did an excellent set, and were received enthusiastically by the audience, but the atmosphere continued to build as everyone anticipated the main act, and I can't believe that anyone could possibly have been disappointed by what was delivered. The shamefully misquote a famous Dublin rocker, the lat,e great Phil Lynott...the boys were well and truly back in town! And not before time, I might add.

Time and tide has done absolutely nothing to diminish the ability of these 5 guys to deliver their very best! My ears are still ringing the morning after, and my voice is hoarse from cheering and singing, and that's just the way it should be!

Our eternal thanks to those connections who sorted out the ultimate birthday present for my husband - guest list tickets to AC/DC !!!

(check out the all-important "COMPLIMENTARY" and €0.00 on the tickets!)

Roll on Punchestown in June, when hopefully we get to do it all over again!

With regards to an OB:Thyroid observation....really, really, really found it a struggle to walk from the hotel to the venue (less than half a mile) and felt more than a little humiliated that I had to keep stopping every hundred yards or so to let the pain in my back and legs subside. I know this a symptom of being hypo, but man that was hell...and, you just feel *everyone* is looking at the fat cow who can't walk because she's so fat...if only they knew! Times like this I wish I could wear a sign around my neck, explaining its my thyroid, not my weight, that is the problem...but I didn't let it spoil what was one of the most incredible gigs I've ever been to! :-)

Back Once Again

Seems I disappeared for longer than intended.

We had a weekend away camping, and that was disrupted by an emaciated stray dog who entered my life the day before we were due to leave.

So I've been very busy looking after her (still ongoing - and looking like a long term project) and learning all about greyhounds and greyhound mixes and their specific care needs. (She's approximately half the weight she should be)

She's gained 1.36 kilos in weight already though so I'm pleased with her progress...if only she and I could participate in a little weight swap ha ha! I'd gladly donate all of my spare weight to undernourished dogs!

Still off the smokes, and still giving the scales slightly less to hold up each week, so there are two positives already.

My new meds seem to be OK. They cut my Carbimazole back down to 30mg, and I finally relented on my BP Meds Argument, and consented to starting on Centyl-K, a diuretic. I bought a cheapo blood pressure monitor from my local pharmacy, and I've certainly noticed my BP coming down a little, so hopefully my doctor will concur. Maybe I shouldn't have fought against BP meds for all this time after all...?

The walking has slipped though, and I'm cross with myself for letting that go...need a kick up the bum and the discipline to get out there every morning again!

Ouch!

Woke up yesterday with a sore foot, major hot-spot on the side of my heel (from my work boots I believe).

Went for my daily walk anyway, despite the pain...but had to walk slower, and didn't get so far. Walking whilst favouring my left foot was definitely having an impact on my right leg and lower back, so I backed off and just concentrated on working up a sweat without doing too much more damage...but pleased that I made myself do it, although perhaps in hindsight it was a little foolhardy.

However, this morning I can't put any weight on the foot at all. So I'm absolutely not going to force myself into my walking boots.

But I don't want a rest day today either. I have a busy weekend ahead, and had hoped to bank a rest day for the weekend when I'd struggle to find time to get away from my social commitments.
This weeks self-imposed exercise goal was to do a minimum of 20 mins per day, my preference is walking.

For heaven's sake - I'm just *WALKING* - why is this SO difficult?

Ups & Downs

I'm just frustrated.

Through the month of January I lost 6 lbs in weight, without even trying. No honestly! The only reason I know I made the loss was due to some swanky new digital scales that my mum bought me...so, whilst making absolutely no effort to lose any weight I religiously jumped on them once a week, just to see what was going on. The weight was dropping off, with literally no effort at all on my part....wonderful! Losing weight, whilst finishing off the Christmas indulgences.....as well as having a January birthday, involving far too much of the wrong types of food and alcohol, whilst still losing weight....hurrah! (got to love the vagaries of Grave's Disease!)

So then I decide to make an effort. In the firm belief that I'm doing everything right I spend a week dutifully going for daily walks, working up a sweat, getting out of breath, drinking water until its coming out of my ears (just running to the loo every half an hour was surely an exercise in itself!), and really, really watching what I was eating.

Hubby had a 'cholesterol' warning at his last health check, so we've cut out as much fat as physically possible, dropped all salt, and we're both really making an effort to do things right. Eating oily fish, bulking up on vegetables, white meat, omega 3, 6, & 9's, cutting out the cheese, going for low fat options.

For the first time in the 10 years I've known him he's willingly drinking his coffee with low fat milk, and reaching for my Flora No Salt spread for his morning toast, when he's not doing himself up some porridge in the mornings, that is.

He doesn't need to lose weight...he's a total string bean, but I'm delighted to see him taking more of an interest in what he actually eats....the fact that he could eat tons of crap and not put on weight has always made me jealous, but watching him lay into the butter and grease has always worried me too.

So, we're making a concerted effort to eat properly, reading labels, avoiding processed food as much as possible etc etc etc.

After the first week of "Brand New Me"....I was a little disappointed to find the scales recorded a 3lb rise....wtf?

Unperturbed, I made some 'TOTM excuses'....ignored it and carried on with my new regime. 'TOTM' was late anyway, so can't honestly use that excuse for the first week of weight gain.

Then yesterday, after another week of walking (longer and further distances this week), getting sweaty (even sweatier than last week!) and out of breath (more huffy puffy than last week too!), with a 2 litre water bottle permanently fixed in my hand throughout the day, and not being put down until its empty in the evening, eating properly, breakfast, fruit, veggies, white meats, making my own wholemeal/wholegrain bread, wholegrain pasta, blah blah blah....and the scales show ANOTHER 3LB GAIN!!!! Now I'm seriously pi**ed off!

In actively trying to sort myself out and lose weight I've actually gained *all* the weight I lost, without trying, and I'm back weighing what I weighed on the 1st January this year!

So what the hell am I doing wrong?

I refuse to blame this on my thyroid, I can't keep going "oh its my thyroid" when my body doesn't work the way it should. I'm starting to believe I use that as an excuse all to often. Perhaps I'm in thyroid-denial?! Ha ha! I just don't believe that the simple fact of my blood levels going into HypOt are sufficient for me to add 6 lbs in 2 weeks, whilst actively trying to LOSE weight.....???

Yesterday's walk was really hard work, for the first time in two weeks I just couldn't get into it...my feet hurt from start to finish, my lower legs got too tight too early, my legs felt heavy, and I just found the whole thing a struggle. I forced myself to keep going, but slowed myself down and took it a lot easier....determined to keep going at all costs, but recognising that pushing myself too hard would be potentially more damaging, both physically and psychologically. And then around 10pm last night I suddenly felt really drained, and it was all I could do to sit in the armchair and hold my head upright....I said to hubby it just felt as if suddenly my engine had run out of fuel! There was still loads to do before I headed to bed, but I just couldn't get up and do them.

However, its not all doom and gloom! This morning's walk felt brilliant, everything went right, and it felt good to push myself a little bit harder than before. Maybe yesterday's walk was just a blip?

Oh, and one of my foster dogs *might* be off to a new home this weekend. Its very bitter-sweet, and the hardest part of being a foster...letting them go to their new homes, especially this one, he's the nicest lad and he's been here almost 2 years with absolutely no one showing any interest in offering him a new home....so we're thrilled to have finally found him his ultimate home (rural, and with three young boys to keep him amused), but he's been here so long he feels like part of the furniture, and we've watched him grow up and mature into a delightful well-mannered dog, from the total hooligan we took in all that time ago. Will be very sad to say goodbye, but he's going somewhere local, so once he's settled in to his new home we're really looking forward to being able to visit him and see him around locally.

Frosty the Snowman

Quiet enough weekend.

Very cold over-night temperatures have kept me up at night, worrying about the two outside dogs...so I went on the scrounge around some local businesses on Saturday morning, begging for some freebies and offcuts, and came home with loads of polystyrene boards, thin ply, nails, and some rubber cow mat. And, after my now regular walk across the fields, we spend the morning insulating their kennel. Polystyrene slabs under the floor. Fixed the broken bit of the floor. Then polystyrene insulation up the inside wall and roof area, secured and made dog-safe with the thin ply. Then cow mats cut to size and laid on top of the wooden floor, and the final touch, put the kennel securely up on a pallet to get it off the ground.

I slept much better the following night, knowing that despite the sub-zero temperatures, the two outside boys would be much, much warmer now.

We settled in for an afternoon in front of the television for the first two matches of the 2009 Six Nations rugby....England vs Italy in Twickenham, followed by Ireland vs France in Croke Park, Dublin.

Delighted to see England win, although I don't think they played convincingly. I wish the media would lay off giving Bergamasco such a hard time though. I actually would have preferred France to win the 2nd game....yes I know I live in Ireland, but I'm not Irish, and the sycophantic Irish media irritate me whenever the Irish team do anything even half right. If Ireland ever did win the RU World Cup I think I'd have to leave the country.

Sunday's game between Wales and Scotland, up in Murrayfield, was another good opener for both teams, although a seemingly excessive amount of players being knocked unconscious, bordering on carnage! For a while it seemed there was a player out cold on the pitch every couple of minutes. Gutted for that poor lad Cross, his very first international cap, and he went off, out-cold on a stretcher. With the ref bleating on about giving him a yellow card (sin bin) but not wanting to award him to it on the stretcher, and the ref telling the medical crew that they may as well remove him from the pitch as he was being sent off anyway...to be honest I think that was a harsh penalty anyway, he'd committed to the try, and I don't believe he had time to pull out of it, but sure, what do I know. Hope he's doing OK anyway. Either way, I don't think the final score was a fair reflection on Scotland's performance over all, they had the seemingly *almighty* Wales running scared a few times, and deserved a better score out of it IMHO.

Anyway, still off the smokes (woo hoo!)

And still getting in the daily walks. Although had a day off on Sunday, loads of snow, very slippery, and nursing a few hot spots on my right foot, and calves feeling a little tight...so I figured a rest day was in order.

Felt the difference today though. Feet less sore, but the walk was harder work initially, assuming that's a by-product of having a day off, will know more as I do more - but I went further today, worked harder, and felt better about it all once I'd finished.

Almost felt restless yesterday that I wasn't strapping my boots on and heading out...but really think my feet and calves benefited from a rest day.

Weight has only dropped a lb though, which I find odd, expected more, but that's life I guess. And a loss is a loss!

Walking Log

So I finally went out for an official walk this morning. Timed. checked heart rate, everything. I'm getting very wrapped up (read: confused?) in resting heart rate, maximum heart rate, training 'zone' or training 'rate.

I'm aiming to keep my understanding of all this simple, follwoing the KISS theory, but at the same time I'm trying to get a basic handle on all these things so that if I am making the effort to get out there walking that I am working/walking hard enough to make a difference, to achieve my goals if you like.

For the record, and for me to be able to check back in the future. Anyone who *does* know about these things, please feel free to comment and/or point out any obvious errors I'm making.

Resting Heart Rate - usually between 78-82 bpm (clearly unfit)

Maximum Heart Rate (=220-35) - 185 bpm

Training Rate 60-80% of MHR - between 110 and 148 bpm

Do I have that right?

So, today, after 10 mins** of moderate pace walking; on gentle, undulating farm tracks; getting out of breath but not uncomfortably so; leg muscles feeling tight but not painful; still able to call out ot the dog that accompanied me.

Heart rate after 10 mins was 112 bpm.

So I've just about edged into the heart rate training zone, but should I try to work myself harder for better benefit....or keep it at the lower end of the training 'zone' for now while I ease back into a regular exercise schedule? Decisions, decisions, and I wish I understood enough about all this to make a more informed decision.

Alright, so 10 minutes isn't a huge feat...but heck, I'm a big girl, and baby steps are a good way to start I reckon. I plan to do 10 mins for a week, then up it in 5 min increments, a week at a time.

Oh...and I'm still smoke-free :o)

Walking In A Winter Wonderland

Got up extra early this morning, to get out there in the snow, with the dogs...and I wasn't disappointed, man I love snow!

Its melted a little since this morning....but we're still getting heavy snow showers on and off, so lots of the melted bits are slowly getting replaced with new, fresh snow.

Still off the cigarettes (woo hoo!) and looking forward to this afternoon's walk...in my very own winter wonderland!

Let It Snow

Woke up this morning to a sprinkling of powdery snow. All the cars and outbuildings looks festive and Christmassy, albeit over a month late. We've had light snow showers and flurries on and off all morning, and its meant to continue doing the for the rest of the day. Its forecast that we should get a proper dump of snow overnight tonight, and I can't wait! OK, so a 'proper dump' is meant in relation to Ireland....where a proper dump could be considered a few inches, that may or may not last until lunchtime before melting away completely....conditions that wouldn't even cause comment in snowier parts of the world...but heck, we get so little of the white stuff over here, that any hint of it and I regress to a 5yr old child again! I plan to get up early tomorrow morning, assess the snow conditions, and if all is well head out for a good old romp in the snow with all the dogs! And if the white stuff chooses to stay around for a day or two then I'll be beside myself with joy!

Planning to head out for a good, bracing walk this afternoon with a couple of dogs, and if we get to walk through a snow shower or two, then it'll be all the better and I'll be all the happier

What A Difference A Day Makes

...24 little hours....

So much to say, so little time.

First off, missed weighing on Thursday morning because I was rushing to get to a doctors' appointment...but I was delighted to hop on the scales Friday morning, straight out of bed, and note a 2lbs loss...yay me! That's 5 lbs since January 1st, without really trying...so this week I will drink more water, start a sensible walking plan, pay more attention to what I'm eating, and make some real effort. Roll on Thurs 5th February...

The doctor's appointment?...well, to get my latest blood test results back. Some good news, some bad news....the bad offsets the good, and makes me a little sad to be honest. The good news is that my liver function tests, which were previously way out (leading me to worry I'd over done things in my student days) were back in normal ranges (yay!), proving my doctor right when she said at the time it was mostly due to my thyroid levels, but that we'd look into them more closely in the future if they didn't settle after I'd started on the thyroid meds.
The bad news...I had some hormone tests done this time around because I've been having really sucky monthly cycles for the last while...mainly a fortnightly cycle instead of monthly, with horrendous 'flooding' to the point where I literally dare not leave the house, for up to 7 days at a time, unless I have packed a whole 'going out' bag, complete with several changes of clothing and mammoth supplies of sanitary supplies (TMI I know, sorry), and had knowledge of access to a bathroom at all times, at a moment's notice. Well apparently my oestradiol levels (I'm sure I learnt this is 'oestrogen' at school?) are low, which apparently explains the awful time I'm having right now...but we don't know why, so again, for now, we're lumping that into the 'thyroid' package. With no current treatment plan, unless it doesn't improve in the future...so, I'm still stuck on this ridiculous 14 day cycle with no hope forthcoming, and a running joke in this house is whether to volunteer for an elective hysterectomy....not something to joke about I know! But, this 14 day cycle is really driving me insane.

And the remaining bad news from my blood tests is that, the current dose of thyroid medication is working really well...so well in fact, that I've swung from firmly hypERthyroid, to firmly hypOthyroid....which explains a lot of (hopefully *all*) the nasty new symptoms I've been experiencing, some old symptoms are back with a vengeance, and some nasty new ones have reared their ugly heads. My doctor made me promise *not* to alter my medication levels until I've been to my next endocrinologist appointment (two weeks and counting!), but I'm finding it really depressing to take my medication every morning now, knowing that instead of making me feel better, they are actively making me worse....

Thank heavens for a really understanding and totally supportive hubby, who has seen me at my absolute worst (and my absolute best, I hasten to add) and knows that the short-temper and mood swings are currently beyond my control. And bless him for not making jokes about my dry, scaly 'lizard' hands right now...yes, another symptom, because I'm really suffering from sense-of-humour failure these days, and often taking previously-funny little comments way too personally. So thank you Blogger, for providing a supportive portal, where I can get all this crap off my mind, writing to people who understand and may or may not be going through the same thing, and for allowing me to give my husband a break from venting my problems to him.

Yesterday afternoon I went out to microchip 5 dogs (I'm a qualified microchipper, and volunteer for my local SPCA) and came home to find the river had burst its banks and we were flooded (again). Ho hum...nursed my car, through the flood, to some higher ground near the paddock, and went for a wade to assess the damage. It didn't come in the house, thank DoG, but it was a close run thing. And my 2 SPCA foster dogs were in their outdoor run, balancing on the last piece of dry land they could find. So, a quick trip indoors to re-arrange things with my own 5 dogs, and I brought those 2 outdoor boys indoors. A few grumbles, and the occasional bicker over beds, but the rest of the evening passed relatively un-eventfully...this house is *WAY* too small for 7 dogs indoors, especially when one of the dogs (my own) is a grumpy, possessive terrier, with small-dog Napoleon syndrome and an attitude problem. He wanted to spend the evening hanging off the throats of the in-comers...instead, he spent the evening confined to his crate, not ideal, but safer for everybody concerned, and meant we could all relax a little more in front of the TV for the evening, as the other 6 get on really well together. The 2 'outside' boys slept in the bathroom overnight, and I was delighted to find it clean as a whistle this morning, so I can hopefully tick off the 'house-trained' box on their adoption forms at least. The floods started to recede around 5am this morning, and I could flush the toilet for the first time in over 18 hours around mid-morning today, phew! The 'outside' boys are now back outside, with their wet bedding replaced with clean, dry bedding....and their kennel and dog-run now comprising of more dry land than water features so hopefully everybody is happy. My washing machine is currently running the gauntlet of getting some more dog bedding clean and ready. The rain hasn't stopped all day, and I'm expecting the river to rise again at some point (flash floods off the nearby mountain), so I don't want to be caught short with last night's wet dog bedding.

During the week, hubby and I made a pact to quit smoking. We set the quit-time as Saturday night (tonight!). He's been out and bought himself a pack of nicotine replacement patches, and I'm straightening my own head to go it alone with will-power. So tonight we smoke our last smokes. Tomorrow we plan to wake up and go smoke-free. In the past when one has decided to quit, the other hasn't.....so we've been yo-yo quitting for a long time now, and that doesn't work. We've both proved to ourselves that we can go without, but the temptation when the other partner is lighting up is just too much after a day or two...so tonight, we finish our packs, destroy and dispose of any remaining cigarettes in the house, and go to bed to face the new day. Fingers crossed it works this time, for good! The health benefits alone make this an incredibly sensible idea, but the other basic fact is that at the moment we just can't afford to keep going. We're compromising on our food shopping budget to buy cigarettes (and that is just STUPID!), we're raiding savings accounts, and last week, the ultimate embarrassment was purchasing a packet of cigarettes after breaking into my copper coin piggy bank, and laying out the money on the shop counter in 1cent and 2cent coins...that has got to be desperate, and I want some pride back!

The weather is just too bloody awful right now to be motivated about specifically going out walking, but I'm trying to make more effort in my daily chores to do them in a more active way to compensate. I stride out with the dogs around the fields, I don't move my car from place to place in town, instead I park more centrally, and walk from bank to shop, to chemist etc. I make myself do the stuff my thyroid tells me that I can't be bothered to do, and I'm getting stuck into house-cleaning with a frenzy of activity. As soon as the weather shows any sign of breaking (just stopping raining would be good enough!) I *will* get my walking boots on, and get the hell out there!

Aww, crap, this turned out to be a loooong entry....I really need to work on perfecting those short, snappy journal updates...thanks for reading this far, if you're still awake.

Under Pressure

So, today I got the results back from my doctor regarding my 24hr blood pressure monitor...and whilst I was pleased enough with the averages, and could positively identify the causes of the 2 high spikes [full caffeine tea, and naughty (read: fighting) dogs]...my doctor was less than pleased. And whilst my 'waking' averages were what most blood pressure/hypertension websites consider the high side of normal or even mild-high, my doctor was still casting doom and gloom, looking at me like I was about to drop dead in front of her, and talking about that oh-so scary BP medication. Meanwhile nearly every BP/Hypertension website claims I'm well within the non-medication range...go figure, because I can't?

The way I look at it....I'm over-weight. I smoke. I currently lead a sedentary (computer-based) lifestyle, with my daily dog walks more closely resembling some mild wandering around the fields, whilst my (7) dogs run themselves into the ground. *I* know there are improvements I could make there, right now...and after the 24hr BP Monitor I'm determined to make some changes.
Oh yeah...I'm also hyperthyroid....and yeah, one of the many myriad of symptoms....high BP....so why do both my doctor and my endocrinologist choose to treat my (mild IMHO) high blood pressure as a totally separate issue, and rain fire and brimstone down on me, threatening imminent death....yet, lump all my other symptoms (hair loss, brittle nails, dry scaly skin, horrific periods, weight gain, mood swings, exopthalmia, chronic lethargy etc etc etc ad infinitum) into the mighty *thyroid* basket, and not treat *those* individually???
On the plus side, and there are a few, my cholesterol levels are low (DoG only knows how?), my blood glucose levels are well within range, my kidney and liver functions are good. My ECG results are consistently Good/OK, with no evidence of narrowing arteries or impending heart disease. So that rules out those doom-laden indicators that often go hand in hand with High BP.

So, how do I want to approach and face up to my (mild, I insist) high blood pressure?
- Well, I think, starting a good regular exercise plan is a good start....sure, I can't afford a gym membership, but walking costs nothing, and the gains are positive and immeasurable.
- Stopping smoking, that's a no-brainer....but easier said than done. Have done it successfully in the past going cold turkey....don't ask why I'm currently back smoking, after staying off them for over 18 months, let's just call it extreme stupidity on my part. In my experience the nicotine replacement therapies don't work for me, what does work for me is to give myself a thorough good talking to, get my head in the right place, and then stop, stop dead....before they stop me dead.
- Lose some weight. So far, I've lost 5lbs since Christmas, and that's without trying....I just need to show myself what I can do with a little more effort. My diet on the whole really isn't bad, no, honestly! (my hubby, who's been eating the same food as me for the last 10 years, is disgustingly slim, and got gold stars and heaps of praise from the medical team at his most recent workplace physical) But I could get a bit more strict with myself on portion sizes. Cut a little more fat out of the diet (cheese and mayo would be the main culprits), and for the sake of my blood pressure declare war on salt.
- Drop the caffeine. On average I probably drink 8-10 cups of tea in a normal day. I used to also find time to quaff up to 3 cans of Diet Coke a day. Combined with my total inability to pass a good coffee machine in a petrol station or shopping centre, and its hard to believe I wasn't wired to the moon 24hrs a day. Currently, I haven't had a single can of coke in several weeks. Bought my first box of thin (de-caff) tea last week, and managed to walk past a few coffee machines without engaging auto-pilot and filling up on hot coffee. Presently I'm having 1-2 cups of fat-caff tea in the morning, and then drinking thin (de-caff) tea the rest of the day. So far so good, and when the box of fat-caff teabags is finished I won't replace it, no matter how much hubby squeals.
- Drink more water, another easy no-brainer but a good habit I just can't seem to make stick. When I'm disciplined enough to fill an empty 2 litre bottle in the morning, then I'm generally disciplined enough to drink it....but often by the time I remember my good intentions its lunch time or later, and I give myself a thousand excuses as to why I can't be bothered to go fill the bottle and I promise myself to try harder the next day...you know how the story goes.

The BP Monitor results are a wake up call, and even if it involves lengthy arguing, pleading and bartering with my doctor and my endocrinologist, I'm determined to stay off BP medication...now is the time to listen to the alarm clock, and shake myself out of dreamland....!