"I Don't Know"

This morning hasn't gone well so far.

Knowing I was waking early this morning, my intentions for an early night last night were dashed when I found myself still messing around online after midnight...this is getting to be a real pattern with me, and I can't seem to break it. I can't get up in the mornings, and I can't seem to get to bed before 2am at night.

Undeterred I set my alarm an hour before I wanted to get up, so I could swallow my Eltroxin and go back to sleep...so far so good...but then I got tormented by the snooze setting on my alarm. And so my plans of waking serenely and enjoying coffee and breakfast before heading to the doctor for the next round of blood tests, was replaced by a mad panic of realising I was still in bed and needed to be heading out the door in less than 5 minutes...eeeek!

It never seems to go to plan, but the receptionists at the surgery are very discreet, and they almost never comment on my bed hair, or the toothpaste dribbled down my front, so I think I got away with it again.

But I was still firmly in sleep-land during my appointment...I didn't cop that my doctor only took one vial of blood this time, until it was too late, and I was already holding down the cotton wool on the recently violated vein, so she could put in the strip of sticky tape over it. Which means I'll *only* get my thyroid panel done this time...with not a clue of any of my other blood indicators.

I also completely forgot to mention the dizzy spells I've been getting...and when she asked me how I was feeling all I could muster was "I don't know"...which is of absolutely no use to man nor beast! I had it all prepared...what I wanted to discuss with her, the dizziness, the neck stiffness, the *up* days, where I'm raring to go on everything and fit to burst with ideas and activities, and the *down* days, where I couldn't even tell you my name because my head is so foggy....and all I managed to say was "I don't know"....very profound!

I did remember to mention the stitch/infection issue on my scar, which is looking heaps better since I stopped using the Bio Oil, and instead bathed it in Savlon Antiseptic Wound Wash Spray twice a day. And she did have a little dig about with the piece of stitch still evident, but stated there wasn't enough there for her to get hold of and do something with it. She said the dissolving stitches normally take around 4 weeks to dissolve, and if it was still there in 2 weeks time then she would investigate it further for me...I have a horrible feeling that may well involve a dab of local anaesthetic and a scalpel, but I didn't ask. She said to continue with the Savlon Spray if it flared up again...and to stay away from the Bio Oil until she said it was OK to try it again.

Then, to add insult to injury, when I went to pay my fees at reception I realised I had no cash. and there was no cheque book in my handbag. I sheepishly said I'd nip into the nearby village and get some cash out...to find the only shop in the village with a cash machine had it removed 2 weeks ago...so back to the surgery, with an even more sheepish "I'll pop the money in the post"...

Am I still over-exhausted from the stupidly busy, but extremely fun weekend I've just had, or am I in thyroid brain fog hell....you have until Friday to guess, because that's when I'll get today's test results back, and all with be revealed, ha!

My Head Is Spinning

"I don't know what's going on right now. I'm a little foggy, a little dizzy. It's crazy. Crazy!" Robbie Ginepri, American Tennis Player

I know exactly how he feels! I have been getting dizzy spells the last few days, just little ones...but they're becoming more frequent.

My pharmacist warned me about dizzy spells and feeling woozy when I first picked up my script for Eltroxin. She said if I felt a bit weird to head to my GP and get my blood pressure checked, just in case. She claimed that Eltroxin could sometimes cause your blood pressure to plummet, as your body adjusted to it etc.

So I checked my BP at home just now, after my most recent dizzy spell, and its fine (and yes, I have checked the accuracy of my own machine against my doctor's sphygmomanometer). My BP came in at 123/87....at the high end of normal, but not quite into the high-normal range, if that makes sense...but definitely not low, which is what the pharmacist warned me of.

Looking forward to getting my blood tests done again next week, was just discussing with hubby that I *think* I might be going slightly hyper....just a hunch. But the last couple of days I can't sit still, I want to be doing stuff constantly...real ants-in-your-pants, fidgety frustration and anxiousness (without being quite full blown anxiety) to get up and go...do stuff. I'm going to bed stupid late (around 2am) and lying there with my head buzzing to bursting point with thoughts and ideas, because I'm not tired, then up early in the morning raring to go, but with nothing to do, and getting frustrated with that...or with so much to do, but not enough cognitive organisation to get stuck into anything, so I don't know where to start!
I also can't keep a thought in my head for more than 30 seconds, and I imagine trying to hold a sensible conversation with me right now is a total nightmare, as I keep jumping from subject to subject, with no logical train of thought....just blurting things out as they come into my head, because if I don't I'll forget what I was thinking about.

Farewell to my Surgeon

Went back to hospital today for my post-op follow-up with my surgeon (yes, I know I was only there on Tuesday, to see my Endo - but that's how these guys roll I guess)

I was called in to the consultation room by his registrar, but then Mr S himself came in to have a peer at my neck.

They both stated that they thought it looked good, and was healing very well.

Apparently its perfectly normal to have good days and bad days, with regards to stiffness, pain and the tight feeling...that its all part of the healing process, where its all healing internally at different rates. And it'll probably continue to feel like this for a good while yet.
The remaining swelling was minimal, and the scar site itself they both declared looked excellent.

They reiterated that I need to keep the site protected from the sun at all times. That it will take up to a year before the scar heals completely and becomes strong, but that within a couple of months it should be barely noticeable.

I was given the all clear to start lashing Bio Oil on it, and we all bid a fond farewell to each other as my surgeon declared that as far as he was concerned I was all finished with his ENT department. But, should there be a further complication down the road (highly unlikely), all my Endo had to do was pick up the phone and Mr S would put me straight back on his patient list.

I thanked him profusely for all he had done for me. The more I looked into the horrors others have experienced after Thyroid surgery, the more truly appreciative I had become of my surgeon and his skills. (I did a bit of Google stalking - and have to say he comes extremely well recommended and appears to be very highly respected in his speciality by his peers!).
Post-op I had no numbness, no tingling. No obvious deterioration in my voice or vocal chords (other than initial soreness form being tubed during the op). No problems with my parathyroids, or calcium levels, either temporarily or permanently. And none of the other awful things that are known risks of this type of surgery, which have happened to others, and which my Fuzzy Thyroid Brain won't allow me to recall right now...

Oh, and one more bit of good news...they send a sample of the goitre/thyroid gland for a histology report as standard during the op...and mine came back *BENIGN*. Thyroid Cancer is one of the most common reasons to do a total thyroidectomy, but was never in question in my case. My thyroidectomy was due to my toxic multi nodular goitre, which, in addition to raising merry hell with my thyroid levels, was closing on my windpipe and slowly strangling me....but even so, hearing the word *benign* will surely always give someone a little lift!

Farewell Mr S, you're diamond!

The Sunday Confessional

Now is the time to come clean.

I've not been nearly as a efficient as I'd have liked in keeping this blog up to date with everything going on in my life, since I started it.

For various reasons really. I've had a really sucky, slow Internet connection for too long, which just made Blogger very slow and hard to use. And so I found myself posting on here less and less, to the extent where for huge chunks of time I forgot I'd even set this up completely.
But I continued to post bits and bobs on various support sites and related (and un-related) forums here and there.
And lets not forget that old 'thyroid chant'....many times I didn't come here and post stuff because I just couldn't be bothered.

So...if you go back through my blog-post history, you may find huge gaps in time where nothing seemed to happen, and then a post with information that probably should have been covered in more detail, making you wonder if you missed something somewhere?

And you may find I've doubled up on some info etc, albeit wording it differently.

This is because, now I have a *good* Internet connection speed, I not only intend to try and keep this place up to date with what is going on right NOW....especially as things are starting to get exciting, with regards to impending Thyroidectomy...but I also plan to try and re-visit some of those old haunts and support sites, and pick out my old posts & journals and re-post them here, in some semblance of chronological order.

So if you're reading a particular entry, and think it looks familiar....well, just maybe it is...maybe you've come across me and my story somewhere else, and now you've found me here too...welcome back :-)

And if you find huge gaps in my story, and want to ask 'wtf happened there'...please feel free to do so....and I'll try to fill in the spaces as best I can, with whatever dates, blood test results & memories that I can drag up.

Aaarrggh - I've Been Tango'd !

Another 4 lbs down this week which I am delighted with

Xenical really *IS* proving to be quite magical!

Especially after another potentially difficult weekend, staying in Roscommon with a different group of people. However, I'm very pleased to say that I think I successfully managed to side step most of the landmines in my way.
Saturday night was a pot luck supper with huge post of delicious stew and another pot of chilli bubbling away on the stove, torturing me with the heavenly smells wafting from the kitchen...after a quiet word with our hostess, she gladly cooked me a couple of quorn burgers and also a huge mountain of veggies...and as a reward to myself for not succumbing to the stew or chilli, I did allow myself the tiniest portion (an inch square, honestly!) of her home-made chocolate biscuit cake...truly sublime!
And at the BBQ on Sunday I hogged out on salads, and gherkins (!) of all things, and no, I'm not preggers(!!??!), and allowed myself two pieces of chicken from the BBQ, although peeling the perfect & crispy skins off the two chicken pieces was heart-breaking (but my dog surely appreciated and totally benefited from my sacrifice ha ha!)
It was an activity weekend for mad folks who do silly things with their dogs (i.e dryland mushing / dog-scootering / bikejoring) so I felt virtually angelic after cycling hard on both Saturday and Sunday too! I just won't talk about the bottle of vodka I consumed Sat night

But after all that virtuous eating, and healthy activity, a very strange thing happened this morning....my first side effect!! Aaaarrggh.
Now a couple of things this morning could have been the result...so I am going to repeat my breakfast another day soon, in order that I can rule in or rule out certain things.
Having successfully eaten an egg, fried no less(!), last week...I thought I'd treat myself to poached eggs for breakfast.
So perhaps that was my mistake...whilst 1 egg is maybe OK for me, perhaps 2 eggs is pushing my luck?
But, the reason I want to repeat this breakfast just to double check (because I do love poached eggs) is because I had a small issue with my blue pill this morning.
Now I do have a problem with some really simple things, mainly due to brain fog, a well known thyroid symptom. I know most, if not all, people can do something occasionally, and not be able to remember 5 mins later if they've done it or not...but for me, and many other 'thyroid brain foggers' things like that happen *all* the time, you really think you're going mad sometimes!
I took all my other pills before I even put the kettle on this morning, and put the blue pill aside on the table for when I came back to the table to eat my breakfast. at least I think I did...I know that it was most certainly my intention to do that, as that's what I always do.
But this morning, when I sat down with my breakfast, there was no blue pill waiting for me. It was gone from the packet, so I definitely popped it in my hand when I was dishing out my pills this morning.
So, either I did take the blue pill with all the other pills without thinking....or...whilst I was busy in the kitchen poaching eggs one of my dogs snaffled it from the table (don't ask, they are sneaky beggars!). Anyway I popped out another blue pill and took that before I started chowing on the poached eggs.

Which means...I don't know if the side effects, which came on about an hour or so later, were due to having 2 poached eggs or by mistakenly taking 2 blue pills...hence why I want to try poached eggs again and see what happens.

I guess its hard to believe I can eat a chicken kebab from a takeaway with no side effects at all, but seemingly 2 innocuous poached eggs on toast unleash the side effects from hell? But I suppose these pills are in control of us now, and what they say goes, whether it makes sense or not?

Ach, wasn't meant to ramble on for that much...but anyway, there's my update