Those scary first steps...

...into a new life of small blue pills, namely Xenical.

I started on the Xenical on Monday, 22nd February...and weighed in that morning at 305 lbs (yowser!)

I honestly didn't know where to start, or how to proceed.

Someone somewhere on a forum referred to Xenical as those little 'policeman pills' and I think that's an excellent analogy...after I took my first one I was almost too scared to eat anything...such horror stories had I read about the side effects.

But I figured that eating absolutely nothing for the foreseeable future wasn't really practical.

So I bravely prepared my first breakfast....2 x ryvita, 2 x cheese triangles & 2 x pineapple rings (an old staple brekkie from my WW days)...and then I sat back and awaited some sort of response from my body.

Around 11am, I risked an apple with my coffee...and again, adopted a wide-eyed owl stare as I prepared for Armageddon in the bathroom. Over-analysing every minor thing my body did.

I decided to throw all caution to the wind at lunchtime...and had a decadent small tin of baked beans with 2 slices of toast and half a slice of Edam...I moved my calculator and notebook into the kitchen, and so began the mathematics session that now seems to underline every meal...

That afternoon I went to the supermarket...and must have looked like a lost soul as I stared at the fresh meat counter...trying to plan meals for the rest of the week that would satisfy the 5% rule and the 15g rule...and also ensure I didn't inadvertently turn my hard-working husband into an emaciated waif (he's one of those annoying B's who can stuff himself over Christmas, and lose weight whilst doing it, grrr). I refuse to cook two separate meals for us....so I figured the 1/3 and 2/3 system would have to work for now. In other words, whatever I coked in the evening I'd have 1/3 of, and he'd have 2/3rds....so he was eating twice as much as me.

Dinner that night was quorn fillets, with garlic & herbs, cous cous and a green salad - with 0-fat dressing.

Day 2 - and I woke up hungry...which is good (I think?)...as I generally have to force myself to eat breakfast in the mornings....so I decided I'd do a little 'trial & error'....not quite sure how much semi-skimmed milk I could get away with, I tried a small bowl of Alpen (yes I know skimmed milk *would* be better, but having grown up on a dairy farm I just can't bring myself to buy white water, semi-skimmed is as much of a compromise as I can make)

Lunch was half a tin of vegetable soup (yeah, I really should learn to make my own!) with 2 slices of wholemeal toast, and a small bit of flora light.

And Dinner was a really scrummy Cajun chicken dish, with savoury rice and a green salad - dressed with balsamic. The Cajun chicken was packed out with vegetables....and the whole thing was really filling.

Day 3 - and Alpen again....its getting a little boring (already!) but I'm so lethargic in the morning, that if it takes even a small bit of effort I just won't bother. I really could do with some 'grab from the fridge/cupboard' ideas from breakfast....the toaster is too much of a faff first thing in the morning, truly! I'm no good until I've had my first cup of coffee (and cigarette...shhh!) and if I wait that long until I eat then the idea of breakfast at all has gone out of my head. So it needs to be something that I can grab and throw in a bowl or on a plate, with the minimum of preparation...before I've got the coffee poured, and the ashtray ready...

Lunch - baked beans, mixed with sweetcorn, on 2 slices of lightly spread toast.

And dinner...have marinaded some chicken in hoi-sin sauce, and we're in the process of inventing something in the wok...watch this space, ha ha!

Shopping tomorrow...and I still am no clearer than I was when in the shop on Monday regarding what I'm going to be buying...I'm still at the 'trial & error' stage with Xenical and would welcome ideas...meals that stay within the rules, but will also go someway to keep good food in front of my husband.

Thanks for reading so far.

Magic Pills or Snake Oil?

As we all know by now I need to have surgery, and I need to have surgery ASAP. My surgeon won't operate until I have lost a minimum of 100lbs, and thus placed myself in a safer place for a General Anaethstic. I have tried to lose weight the conventional way for the last 12 months, to absolutely no avail. Both my ENT consultant, my ENT surgeon and my dietician have said that if I don't show any positive signs of progress on losing the weight required by my next appointment with them (I see both on 15th march) then they will dump me, and I have to go through the whole referral system again.

I'm 36 yrs old and hubby and I desperately want to start a family...but until I've had this surgery, and thus able to change my current medication, we're simply not allowed. So I really don't want to go through the referral system again...if I can even show them I have lost a stone or most of one by the middle of March, then my surgeon and my dietician will keep me on.

And so I've turned to Xenical...ouch, that's an expensive prescription to fill...fortunately I have joined the Drugs Prescription Scheme here in Ireland so the maximum I pay on all my prescriptions per month is €120...but as I'm currently unemployed and not on benefits, that is still a huge chunk of money to find each month, this had better work!!

My GP suggested Xenical a good while ago...but I was utterly horrified by the potential side-effects, not to mention the costs involved...and so I never got the prescription filled. But this time I have to give it a fair try!

For those who haven't come across Xenical before, its the double-strength, prescription-only version of Alli (as seen on TV)

My Xenical start weight is 305 lbs (yikes!) - wish me luck!

So, so, so...!

So much going on right now...

So much to blog about...

So, please be patient whilst I take a few days to update this place...